Unloved
by Yaoi flame
Summary: Unrequited love can throw in depression even the greatest fighter and make him do some unimaginable things. How will Renji deal with his love troubles? The only light in his life is that everybody else is happy.
1. Not Needed Anymore

**Disclaimer: ** I own only this story

**Note:** I really felt bad so I decided to write something like this. I was kind of inspired by another Bleach fiction; by the author whose pen name I don't remember (I apologize). If you like/dislike this, please _**review**_! I will continue this only if I receive enough reviews (at least 6, for the start; I'm not asking much, aren't I?). That would really cheer me up!

**Pairing:** Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya

**Rating:** M

**Warning:** Attempt at suicide

**Unloved**

**Chapter 1: Not Needed Anymore**

At first, he could hear voices. He could feel the multiple reiatsu gathering around him. He couldn't open his eyes, not yet; he wasn't ready to face with the world. But he exactly knew who the people around him were. Besides, he could recognize the voices of the ones who spoke.

The first one was a female voice, which belonged to Captain Unohana. Judging by her presence, he could conclude that he had been saved.

The second one was female as well. She was very concerned. She asked if he was alright. Rukia…

He could hear some other comments as well, such as:" What a jackass, taking a bath in such depth!", or, "We all knew that no one bathes in that river!", the statements which belonged to Ichigo and Ikkaku.

"Hey, maybe he wanted to try bungee jumping (without a rope, though)" Hanatarou tried to explain. Renji could practically _feel_ the others turn and glare at the poor thing. Unohana cleared her throat.

"We should all leave him to rest. He'll be fine." She said and everybody followed her as she was exiting. But one reiatsu was still present.

If Hanatarou knew that he wasn't too far from truth. And that's why the redhead refused to open his eyes. He had acted like a coward, trying to commit suicide. Yes, suicide. Because of his lame love life. As if he was a chick. But he couldn't help it. It had reached the line where he could no longer fight. He had been too tired to do so.

"Open your eyes, Renji." a cold voice said. "I know you are awake." There was a trace of worry within those words. Renji obeyed. He slowly opened his eyes, but saw nothing. It was only darkness and terrible headache.

"Water…" he whispered; only then did he realize that his throat was dry and that his entire body was in terrible pain. He gritted his teeth, to prevent himself from screaming.

Soon, his mouth met with the edge of the glass, and he drank the contents of it. He felt slightly better.

"I can't see a single thing." he stated, with much clearer voice this time.

"You needn't worry. Captain Unohana said that it was normal and that you should regain your vision in no time." again that flat, cold voice.

Renji laid his head back on the pillow. He felt the weight on his bed. Byakuya was now sitting beside him.

"Why did you try to kill yourself, Renji?" he whispered, accusingly, his voice filled with disgust.

Renji closed his eyes again. "It's none of your business."

"Only now do I see that you are a coward, and not a fighter." Byakuya said.

"What a hypocrite!" Renji hissed. "All I was doing was to fight. My entire life." Even when he had given up, he was still a fighter. "I just found out that there's nothing I could fight for anymore. Therefore, I'm not needed in this world." He could feel Byakuya's frown.

"That is so pathetic!" the 6th squad Captain stated. "So pathetic of you, Abarai Renji. I should consider finding a new lieutenant. You are not suitable for that position anymore."

Renji hissed in anger, but couldn't do nor say a ting, since he was in a serious pain. He felt the weight abandon his bed, and Byakuya's reiatsu fading away. His captain had left his room.

---

---

---

**Two days ago**

The bridge was high enough and the river beneath was fast enough to sweep away anybody who even place a toe inside, let alone jump from the bridge.

Renji was sitting on the ledge, with broken look in his eyes. That morning, he had realized some key facts about Byakuya, himself, and love in general. That morning, he had finally realized that Byakuya would always have heart only for Hisana, and that Renji would never replace her.

The discovery had defeated him immediately, the only battle he couldn't win. All these years, he had been sacrificing and fighting for Byakuya; had always been by his side, on the battlefield, in bed, wherever Byakuya wanted him to be. But seeing his beloved in deep thought way too often, with nostalgic face expression every time, and melancholy, was too much to bear. He had heard once that Byakuya had once been cold, stoic, but somehow more open, until Hisana's death. Not even he was capable of waking the fire in those eyes he adored. Nothing could summon life in Byakuya's soul. Only Hisana's altar, which was in a room specially made for that, could do such thing.

That was defeat, and Renji was aware that he could never surpass such barriers around his beloved's heart. He had been deceived by the gorgeous Captain.

The 6th squad lieutenant, Abarai Renji, untied his long, red hair, which was now dancing gracefully while the wind was playing farewell music in his ears. Both Soul Society and Earth were in peace now, no Hollows or anything similar was in their way of happiness. Ichigo had become the 9th squad Captain to everyone's amusement, and Rukia had been proposed by him.

'At last' Renji thought.

Yumichika had finally acknowledged his feelings towards Ikkaku; and Ikkaku reciprocated those feelings; but Yumichika was a two timer, cheating on poor Ikkaku with Hisagi Shuuhei. Still, all of them were happy; Ikkaku was living in blissful ignorance.

As soon as little Yachiru had grown up and became such a beauty, Zaraki had fallen in love with her, and she loved him back. She had always been the only one who could tame such insane and powerful Shinigami. It had been a lot awkward at first, since Zaraki had been taking care of her as if she was his own child; but things tended to change, everybody knew. But the crazy bastard respected her too much, and the only thing they had done so far was to hold hands (Zaraki had confessed to Ichigo, to Ichigo's utter discomfort). Yes, it was strange for somebody that huge and strong, so brutal and dangerous, to be so silly, especially when it came to love.

Renji smiled at this. And then, he carried on with his list. Love was blooming for almost everyone. That comforted him a little.

Urahara couldn't decide between Yoruichi and Nova, so he decided to stay away from both of them, claiming they were messing with his head; Sado and Inoue were in a happy triangle with Ishida (which Renji found utterly disgusting); Hanatarou had been proposed by stupid moron Ganju. Luckily, the little guy had refused. He was happy to be single.

So, when he summarized, he decided that nobody needed him. Everything was in perfect order. He stood up and looked into the sunset; it was beautiful and reminded him of Byakuya's love-the dying one, perhaps the one that had never existed.

Closing his eyes, he let the gravitation force him down into the river, and soon after, his senses were shut down.

---

TBC…?


	2. I WIll Carry On

**Note:** You know the condition if you want me to continue this. :)

**Warning:** Lemon (I tried to make it less hard, because of the site rules). Please don't delete this, site staff! :)

**Unloved**

**Chapter 2: I Will Carry On**

Now that his plan had failed, it kinda left Renji with tied hands. All of his friends were oblivious of what he had actually intended to do, thinking naively that he had gone to take a bath there or, as Hanatarou had put it, to try bungee jumping.

When he opened his eyes the next day, he was able to see again, as if nothing had happened at all. Byakuya was sitting on his bed again, looking at him indifferently. Only he was able to see through him and figure out what were true Renji's intentions.

"How are you today?" his captain asked. All Renji wanted to do was to kiss this cold hearted man and to become number one in his heart. Never in his life did he feel so abandoned and unloved like these past few years. Why wouldn't the other kiss him" They were alone in the room. Just a small peck on his lips would be enough; a small sign of affection…

Why wouldn't he put astray his pride just this one time and comfort him; although Byakuya didn't know why Renji had done it, why was it so hard to not ask questions and just _be_ there for the red head?

"Why are you here? Haven't you demoted me?" Renji had decided a long time ago to stop being polite and to be as rude as possible towards his lover, for why would he be nice, why giving, when not receiving? He was fed up with everything. If he were Hisana, Byakuya would never mind just comforting her; he would never judge _her_ if she was the one who had tried to commit suicide.

But she was _dead_, _**gone**_, and Renji was _**here**_, alive! It would be much easier if Byakuya said for once, that he didn't love him, that he was stuck in the past, still loving Hisana. But no. It had to be the harder way Byakuya had chosen. Was it just sex?

"It takes too long for the administrators to finish paperwork." he replied. "But as soon as you get out of here, you will be seated third."

"It would have been better if you just fired me for good, so I could join the fuckin' Fourth division or something!" Renji hissed. "Is it because I let you screw my friggin' ass or something?!" he still had his pride, he mused, and didn't want Byakuya's pity.

"You do not have to be so impolite, Renji. Hold your tongue." was all Byakuya said.

Renji sat upwards in his hospital bed, clearing his throat. It was dry and he was desperately trying to suppress a cough. If only he could tell his lover what was bugging him… He sighed.

"I presume that you want to demote me for one seat because we're lovers, to put it your way, Captain Kuchiki." Renji emphasized every word. 'Please just kiss me!' he pleaded in his mind. 'Tell me you love me.'

Byakuya didn't even wince at such formality.

"Your demotion is just temporary." he informed the red head. "And it is not the result of our…private business." And that was the last straw.

Renji jumped from his bed, ignoring terrible pain in his body.

"Get out!" he yelled. At this, Byakuya winced a little; just a little. "Out, I say!!!" Renji repeated, desperate, angry, insane. There were things he wanted to say, but it was out of his reach, the whole thing. Byakuya would never be touched by his words nor would he care. His complaints would never do anything effective.

His, so called, lover, got up slowly, gracefully; arrogance in his movements. His steps were lighter than every feather, and soon he was gone. Just like the previous time.

---

Being in a hospital had its advantages. Renji could think about many things now. He was able to consider every option. He was scolding himself for his try to deprive himself of life. No matter how much he loved Byakuya, no matter there wasn't any work to do, no matter his friends were all happy, he didn't have right to do something shameful. It was as if he had never attended the Academy, as if he had never learned how to be a fighter.

He hated he had reacted on impulse. He swore he would never do such stupidity again. He started to appreciate his life now, when it had almost been taken away from him. That was good, for a change.

After some thought, Renji decided that it was time for drastic changes in his life and he had already made plans. The first thing on his list was to resign from his, currently third position in the division. The second one was to apply for any other division. He didn't care if Byakuya would be affected by it (Renji doubted his Captain would even blink). He was doing this for himself. The redhead desperately wanted to find a new purpose of his life as a shinigami.

---

But some memories were still haunting him. They couldn't leave him alone, since it seemed, a couple of years ago, that Byakuya had been the one after him, not vice versa. Renji was wondering now if it was possible to fall in love for the second time in your wife, especially when she had been long gone.

**Ten years ago**

It was twilight. There was sakura scent lingering in air; you could almost taste its sweetness. Colors in the sky were mixing as it was starting to get darker…Renji liked the sight, but despite its beauty, he couldn't fully enjoy it. It was, perhaps, his last night in Seireitei. Captain Commander Yamamoto had assigned him, Hisagi Shuuhei, Madarame Ikkaku, and several others to go to the real world and fight the new kind of enemy (they weren't Aizen's allies). They didn't have enough information about the enemy; therefore those creatures were marked as highly dangerous. Yamamoto had ordered, as well, to take Kurosaki Ichigo and to explain everything to him, so he could help them.

The very thought that Yamamoto had collected the strongest lieutenants and soldiers for that mission meant only one thing: the situation was serious and some of them would never see the day again. The Captain Commander had forbid any Captain to be involved, explaining that he needed even stronger forces to defend Seireitei, if necessary. The most disappointed was, of course, Zaraki Kenpachi. He considered that the 'real fun' would be in the real world.

Of course Renji felt apprehensive about it, but he would never hesitate to fight. It was his duty, anyway.

All of that was the reason he couldn't enjoy the sunset. He was heading to Kuchiki mansion, so he could see how Rukia was, since he had seen her earlier. She had been very upset. She had even wanted to beg Yamamoto to reconsider and order Renji not to go. But she had been explained that it would be the greatest disgrace for a solider if Yamamoto did something like that. As if she hadn't known. But she had wanted to protect Renji. It had been only natural.

He was greeted by the servants, and was told that Rukia was on the porch, near the small lake. That was her favorite place in the entire house, he knew. In the room from which you could go to the said porch, was the place where her sister had died. She had explained that she had felt some sort of Hisana's presence there. Maybe that was the way to make up for all years spent without her.

He found her sitting there, staring at the lake with gloomy eyes. He sat beside her.

"I'll be back, Rukia, so you needn't worry!" he said sheepishly, failing to sound encouraging, as he wanted. "And I'll take care of that Ichigo of yours!" he chuckled. She elbowed him, but she couldn't hide her smile. Then she frowned.

"You take care of yourself or else…!!!"she stood up, yelling at him. "Give your best out there, will you?" she lowered her head. Renji stood up as well and hugged her. It was funny; it looked like hugging a child, since he was much taller than her. He enjoyed thinking of her as his baby sister.

"I will, Rukia. Don't I always?"

It was evident that she was suppressing her tears.

"I know you're scared, Renji. It is alright to be scared…" she looked up at him. "And I don't want to lose you, so please…I intend to ask nii-sama to let me go as well…secretly. I want to be by your side, guys, when you fight."

He pushed her so he could look at her better.

"Don't say that, Rukia. Byakuya would never let you! _I_ would never let you, in a first place."

"B-but…" she was angry now. He adored her temperament. She sighed. "Ok, if you say so…I won't be stubborn this time."

"Good. Just imagine how your brother would feel to lose another person he cared about." he added, just to be sure Rukia wouldn't follow. She slightly nodded.

"I have to go now; I promised Hanatarou I would help him collect medical supplies for your trip."

He smiled. "You do so."

She ran out of the house, and he watched after her. He could bet she would be fine even without him. Se was a strong person. Besides, his captain was there to protect her.

Speaking of which...As soon as she left, Byakuya appeared and sat on the porch. Not even bothering to look up at Renji, composed as ever, he said:

"Nice words back then."

'He eavesdropped?' Renji mused.

"We-well…you know…I'd do everything for her safety." he scratched the back of his neck. "I'd better go, Captain…sorry for disturbance."

But the cold, composed voice stopped him on his way out of the porch.

"You can stay a little." Byakuya offered. Renji couldn't refuse. It was his captain, after all. He sat beside him.

Byakuya was looking into the depths of darkness. There was melancholy lingering around him, but such amount of it was unusual.

"People are always afraid of the unknown." he stated. "Even captains are afraid." he added. Renji lowered his head, looking at the hot tea the servants had brought them. He mused over Byakuya's words. He was right about everything.

They sat there, letting the silence devour them. It was unusually pleasant just to sit beside his captain, perhaps because he would never see him or anybody again.

"But I'll do my best to lose that fear and beat the enemy." the redhead finally spoke.

"Is that a promise, Renji?" asked the calm voice. Its owner turned his head to look at him. Renji winced at the sight of his captain. He was paler than usual. Or was it just the moonlight. "Or should I look for a new lieutenant?"

Now, when Renji thought better, he couldn't imagine anybody else by Byakuya's side as a lieutenant, other than himself.

"It's a promise, sir!" he grinned. "I still have to surpass you!" he said, although that desire had been long gone. He was just admiring his superior now. Byakuya didn't smile at this. On the contrary, his face seemed even more serious, if that was even possible.

"We shall lose good warriors there." Byakuya stared at the lake again. "I'm displeased with that."

"Sir, would you break the rules and come with us?" Renji blurted out, figuring that he would feel more confident if his captain came with them. It wouldn't be the first time, anyways, for Byakuya to break the rules.

Byakuya pierced him with a serious look. Blood in Renji's body froze for a second. He lowered his head. "I apologize…"

"No, I will not go to the real world. I am here to serve Seireitei." the dark haired shinigami spoke. "You just make sure to come back and put Rukia at ease…" unexpectedly, he sighed. "However, I will break the rules one more time, tonight."

Renji's eyes widened. "What do you mean, sir?"

Without any warning, Byakuya placed one hand on the wooden floor, so he could lean in. He pulled Renji by his chin gently with another, and placed a peck on his lips. Renji's eyes grew even wider. He couldn't push away his captain just like that. Nor did he want to…for some strange reason.

He placed his hand on Byakuya's arm, to encourage him. The captain pressed their lips firmer, sliding his tongue over Renji's lips. Renji parted them. He didn't object, not even once. For he had just realized that he needed this, he needed to be touched, kissed, for the last time, by anyone. He needed it.

Byakuya's hot tongue entered his wet cavern and started massaging Renji's, which was, to his surprise, very skilled. But this was the first time for both of them, to be with another man.

As the time was passing, their kiss deepened even more and became more passionate; Renji moaned into Byakuya's throat, entangling his fingers in his captain's long, dark hair. It felt nice, like silk, between his masculine hands. It tickled his skin and he fell in love with it. His fingers gripped it firmly, as he shifted from the wooden floor of the porch to Byakuya's lap.

It was his captain he was about to sleep with, he knew, but he couldn't caress his body as he would like to: with great respect Byakuya deserved, as if he were a deity. Renji was rather harsh, instead, in despair for warmth of another.

Straddling Byakuya's lap, Renji had to bend down so they could carry on kissing. Byakuya tilted his head up, shoving his tongue forcefully in Renji's mouth, as he untied the long, red hair. It fell on Byakuya's pale face, soft and with cinnamon scent, of which Byakuya felt dizzy. He gripped it in order to pull the man closer.

As the kisses became fiercer, Renji started rocking his hips back and forth, already bathed in sweat. Byakuya exposed his chest and started placing heated kisses down his neck, to his collarbone and lower, to his tattooed chest, tormenting one of Renji's nipples. The redhead arched his back and moaned a bit. He was wondering why Byakuya was doing all of this in a first place. It was so out of his character.

Eyes full of lust looked up at Renji, who was captivated by them, and he knew it was too late to stop; he had already been seduced. Byakuya's heated kisses and his beauty were more than enough to make his lieutenant surrender.

They made love the entire night, Byakuya was inside of Renji; Renji was inside of Byakuya. Their lovemaking was so passionate; they weren't suppressing their moans; nothing mattered to them, only that moment. Renji was entirely savored by his captain; Byakuya was caressing him, ripping his skin with his nails, and kissing him as if in despair, as if Renji would turn into air.

And it pleased the lieutenant, who was fully aware now of Byakuya's beauty and his true feelings he held for his captain; it was hidden lust and not hatred; it was affection, and not only admiration that he felt.

Their kisses were more like light bites. Both men were wrapped in sweat. Renji's arms were wrapped around Byakuya's neck tightly, his lips pressed against the captain's ear; his throat was releasing muffled moans, his eyes firmly shut.

The redhead wasn't sure how much time they had already done it that night, but he knew that they hadn't drained all the pleasure yet; this sudden, strange interaction between him and his superior. He had to admit that he liked it; he couldn't suppress and deny his affections anymore. He felt sorry it took him too long to realize, and it was too late. He didn't know what had gotten into Byakuya; there wasn't any reasonable explanation for all of this. All Renji knew, as he was nearing his climax, that he wanted this to last as much as possible.

It was already dawn when both of them arched their backs, coming in unison. Renji lowered his head, panting, and Byakuya removed some red strands of hair from his face, claiming his lips. Renji took it hungrily, gripping Byakuya's hair with both hands. His captain was panting as well.

Renji didn't dare to ask why Byakuya had acted that way. It didn't matter. At this point, it didn't. They would be in the real world the following evening.

They untangled their limbs, not daring to look at one another. Byakuya wrapped the blanket around himself and stood up, looking in the direction of the small lake. He stood on the very same spot where his wife had died a long time ago, turning his back to Renji.

'Graceful as always' Renji thought, looking at him, while collecting his clothes.

"Take care of yourself, Renji." Byakuya said in the cold tone of his. "Come back home."

---

**The Present**

Byakuya had been after him, from the very start. That's how their relationship had begun. It was hard for Renji to believe that Byakuya's love was gone now. It was hard for Renji to believe it had been present at all. But he knew he had to move on…His attempt at suicide had been foolish.

'If only I could wake your love one more time…' he had no tears to cry.

---

TBC…?


	3. So This is Goodbye

**Unloved**

**Chapter 3: So This is Goodbye**

Byakuya was the greatest love Renji had ever had. With his aristocratic manners, genteel vocabulary, remarkable wisdom, and outstanding beauty, Byakuya was the highest being in Renji's eyes. Renji felt privileged for being with such extraordinary creature, and knew that he had to lose it for good, since there was no mutual love. Renji was the only one who loved.

It was the painful fact that he had to let go; practically, Byakuya was cheating on him with his dead wife. He had to let go, to set them both free, no matter how hard it would be. But before it, Renji had to talk to Byakuya and inform him of his final decision.

Byakuya was standing in the doorframe, waiting for him to collect his things and change into his shinigami uniform. He had recovered and wanted to leave the quarters of the 4th Division as soon as possible. Not that he didn't like those from the 4th, but he was anxious to leave the place, talk to Byakuya and transfer as the lieutenant of the 13th Division.

Unknown to anybody, he had had Captain Ukitake visit him. They had discussed about Byakuya's dissatisfaction with his lieutenant and the fact that Ukitake had two incompetent lieutenants who fought over their captain's fondness. Ukitake had agreed, he himself fed up with various disagreements between his two lieutenants. In his opinion, Renji was a good and reliable assistant. He had accepted his application and offered himself to leave Renji's resignation on Byakuya's desk.

Renji knew that Ukitake would appreciate him more than Byakuya would ever. And now his captain wanted some explanations. Without a word, side by side, they exited the barracks of the 4th and headed to Kuchiki estate.

---

The atmosphere was heavy in Byakuya's garden. It had always been the case after the rain: too much vegetation; scent of plants mingled with humidity, making the air heavy and suffocating. This time, with addition of tension between soon-to-be-former lovers, it was practically unbearable.

Renji was sitting on the porch, facing his captain. With a bowl of sake in his hands, and hands in his lap, he was staring at the liquid. Not bothering to tie his hair, it was all over his neck and across his eyes, as he was sitting there with his head lowered. The pain in his chest had never ceased since the day he had realized those horrid facts, which had been torturing him for three years now, but went to the surface a few days ago; the pain increased.

"I decided that it would be too disgraceful for me to be demoted, so I applied and was accepted as Captain Ukitake's lieutenant, starting tomorrow. You can, of course, pick one or both of his former lieutenants or announce an open competition for that position. Captain Commander agreed as well." It surprised Renji how he could talk so formally. Pain was doing wonders.

"I see." Byakuya said in his well known flat tone.

Renji couldn't believe how strong he was and he prayed to stay thus. He didn't want to break down before the man he loved. "There is another thing I want to inform you of." he announced.

"Yes, Renji?" his voice darkened, as if he already knew what Renji wanted to tell him.

The redhead looked at him. "I don't want to be lovers with you anymore." Every word was like Senbonzakura Kageyoshi through his heart, body, and mind, but anyway, he continued. "Since there is something utterly wrong in our communication or any other kind of interaction. Something has changed and I don't think it could be fixed." He sighed. He said it. At last. And he was feeling much worse. Much, much worse.

"I see." Byakuya closed his eyes, and then opened them only to look elsewhere. "I need to tell you some things, as well."

Renji winced at this. What was the point of prolonging the agony? Byakuya didn't say he disagreed, so why wouldn't he let him go? It seemed like the end of the world to Renji; he knew his Byakuya was unique and that he would never find someone whom he could compare to eternity, like he could compare Byakuya. He knew that from now on, he would be alone for the rest of his life; he was pretty sure he would never make love to anyone, let alone kiss or do any kind of those things. It was impossible to imagine his life without Byakuya. It would be terribly empty from now on. Renji was afraid of that. He knew that he could never be intimate with anyone, since he would be comparing all of them to Byakuya, only to find them imperfect. He would get mad at them, then at himself, and he would be so desperate.

He knew that from now on, he would be deprived of love. It would be hard to imagine a male who couldn't find another some time later and it sounded so poetic that Abarai Renji had decided to be ascetic and deprived of even one night stands. But he was a stubborn shinigami, who never gave up on his principles, and that was good enough evidence.

"Yes?"

"Although I am only 242 years old1, elders want me to get married and have a successor. Three years ago, I sensed Hisana's reiatsu." Byakuya paused to look at his, very pale, former lieutenant. "Of course", he continued. "It is impossible to be Hisana herself. We think that it is her reincarnation, that is, she did not turn into spirit particles, but, somehow, found another body. We have been searching for three years. However, we are still unable to locate her."

The story seemed so unbelievable to Renji, who just sat there, perplexed, and listened.

"The elders agreed to have Hisana, or whoever with her reiatsu by my side, no matter she is not from any noble house, as long as she can give birth to my children."

"So, it would be like a second chance for you, isn't it? It would be as if you were able to return time." The redhead stated his voice barely a whisper. He knew now for certain, that it was over once and for all, with agreement from both sides.

"Yes." Byakuya said.

And Renji had been in his way for three long years. That was where Byakuya's love had gone. It had been only passion with the two of them, for eight years, which Renji had confused with love. He was defeated, once again.

"I understand." He stood up, placing the bowl by his feet. Byakuya stood up as well. "I wish you luck in finding her as soon as possible, Captain Kuchiki." he bowed. "I guess this is our farewell." He headed to the exit.

---

Only Rukia and Ichigo knew about their relationship, so he was safe when it came to scandals.

**Ten years ago**

They retreated with victory, but with many injured people. Yumichika was sitting beside Ikkaku's bed, holding his hand and acknowledging his love for the first time, whispering incoherent words. Yumichika thought that death was such an ugly thing, and he thought, as well, that it was so ugly to be a spirit particle; therefore he never wanted Ikkaku to experience it.

"Don't die, for I would be so ugly if I stay alone. People are so, so, so disastrously ugly when they cry…Not that I would cry; I'm in Zaraki's division, but… You understand, Ikkaku…" the beauty sighed. "You know…I just thought that it would be beautiful if I loved you." he smiled weakly.

In another room, Ichigo was fighting for his life. Rukia was doing a similar thing as Yumichika, but in her own way.

"Don't you die on me, Ichigo!" she was infuriated. After many curses, she finally broke down, allowing herself to cry. "Kaien-dono left me, but, but…I don't know what I would do if you leave me, too, Ichigo…" the carrot head cracked one eye open to see her, bewildered by what he saw. He had never see Rukia so desperate before, so caring, especially when it came to him.

"You would survive…without me." he managed to say, as Hanatarou was healing his injuries.

"Baka!!!" she cried. "You really don't get it!"

That night, Yumichika and Rukia acknowledged their love, and a few days later, started dating with Ikkaku and Ichigo.

That night, when they came back to Seireitei, Renji was helping the 4th squad shinigami to take care of his comrades. He was trying to do everything with his bad kido spells, trying to do his best. It was three in the morning when Captain Unohana approached him.

"Thank you for your help, Abarai-kun. You really did a lot. But you're exhausted and you need rest yourself. That injury on your left arm will open again if you don't go home and lie down."

No matter how much he protested, Unohana was persistent, so he gave up. While walking to his place, he remembered that he hadn't seen his captain, and he felt an urge to see him right that moment. Only then did he realize his fear, his shaking hands, and uneven breathing. His friends were bleeding to death, their reiatsu weakening every second. He had never seen such terror. He needed someone who was strong enough, who was bold and composed, to comfort him, to be kind to him and put at ease his erratic thoughts.

He remembered that Byakuya had a habit to take long night walks, so he ran in the direction where he thought his captain would be; he was sure that even Byakuya's even voice would calm his trembling nerves. He was running as if he didn't posses a soul, blinded by dust which he was raising with his shunpo, eager to find him as soon as possible.

Somewhere in the distance, he saw something white and as he was approaching, he was sure it was haori which belonged to the captain of the 6th division. The night was fresh with a light breeze.

Breathless, he stood before his captain, his hair scattering all around him; his face was covered with dried blood, as well as his clothes. Byakuya stared at him with his default face expression, showing nothing.

"I-I kept my promise…" Renji said, slowly regaining his breath. Byakuya approached him, touching him, like a blind man who wants to feel your features under his fingers, so he could imagine you; Byakuya was looking for wounds.

Renji winced and gritted his teeth in pain when the black haired man touched the wound on his left arm. He looked at the wound, and suddenly, he started touching everywhere, looking for more of them; then he moved to Renji's face, examining thoroughly and with such speed and passion.

"It's not my blood. It's Hisagi's, Ikkaku's, Ichigo's…" Renji said; his thoughts incoherent. "I was…was…" he was shaking his head, fear overwhelming him. "I promised I would suppress fear and bring you victory…"

"Renji." Byakuya shook his shoulders. "Calm down, Renji. You are falling into hysteria."

"Captain Unohana dismissed me, I wanted to help…" Renji gripped his captain's haori.

"Just breathe…It is all right to be afraid…" Byakuya entangled his fingers in Renji's red hair. "Come on…you need a bath." he offered, and they used their shunpo to go to Byakuya's mansion.

---

Clean and relaxed, he was standing in the darkness; there was no moon in the sky, it was hidden behind the clouds. The night was like a blindfold; he could only feel warm breath of another, approaching his lips. His captain was caressing him as if he was made of porcelain; moving his lips to his neck, teasing the sensitive skin; running his slim fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes, submitting, hugging his protector. So, it was definite; Byakuya was doing it again; kissing him and holding him, and making his senses confused. It was warm and nice. They were holding each other tighter and tighter, as if swearing to never let go of each other.

"Renji…" he called his name, extending his hands to find the other in the darkness, as Renji was riding in his lap, neither slowly nor too fast, arching his back. "Renji…" Byakuya whispered again, reaching for him.

"Hn…" Renji managed to say, lost in passion, reaching for Byakuya's face, cupping his smooth cheeks. He leaned down and kissed him eagerly. The aristocrat placed his palms on Renji's back, pulling him closer. "Here…I'm…alive 'n' here…hush…" he was calming down his lover, kissing him all over his flawless face as he was coming.

**Nine and a half years ago**

Every now and then, Byakuya would come and sleep over at Renji's small apartment. That night, they didn't make love. They were in their bottoms and, for the first time, Renji was snuggled against his lover, resting his head on Byakuya's chest; his hair spread all over the pillow, entangled with Byakuya's dark hair.

They were sleeping peacefully, captain's arm wrapped around his lieutenant, as he was lying on his back. But one loud voice had to wake the noble. It was a rather annoying and familiar voice.

"Oi, Renji!!! Wake up!" the man shouted. "I need some condoms and Rukia's waitin'…"

At this, Byakuya decided to open his eyes. He pulled on his kimono and opened the door. Ichigo was startled, at first, and then confused.

"Rukia, you said?" Byakuya asked.

"Er, er…" Ichigo stuttered, scratching the back of his head. But then, he realized that he wouldn't be the one to be cornered. "Wait a minute…What are you doing in Renji's apartment in the middle of the night…?" he pointed at the kimono.

Before Byakuya could answer a thing, Rukia flash stepped next to Ichigo.

"What takes you so long?!" she shouted, but then she saw her brother. She grew pale. "Nii-sama!"

Byakuya raised his delicate eyebrow, displeased to see that Rukia was with…with…

"Kurosaki Ichigo…" he muttered through his teeth.

"What the hell is all that noise about?!" Renji was approaching them, grumpy and sleepy, barely keeping his eyes opened. When he realized that they had been discovered, and that Byakuya had discovered Rukia's and Ichigo's relationship, he opened his eyes a bit more, out of surprise.

"Er...guys…"

**The present**

He was sitting in his apartment, trying to clear his mind, when Rukia burst in, looking as if she had seen a ghost.

---

TBC…?

1 Taken from absoluteanime; it says that Byakuya is 242 years old in Soul Society, which is not much for them, and that would be about 24 years in the real world.


	4. Preparation for the Trip to the Academy

**AN:** Sorry for taking me this long to update! I hope you'll enjoy this!

I want to thank to everyone who reviewed so far and I hope you'll stay with me till the end of this story!

**Unloved**

**Chapter 4: Preparation for the Trip to the Academy**

After her brief explanation about Ichigo's trip to the real world, in order to visit his family and his quick fuck with Inoue Orihime, no less, Rukia had concluded that she didn't hold grudges against those two, she wished them luck. So typical for Rukia, to be so considerate, putting herself aside.

She was sleeping in Renji's room now, obviously exhausted. She couldn't sleep for nights. She had said that Ichigo had confessed to her after some time, but it had been written all over his face days before his confession. Renji could imagine Orihime's large breasts bouncing as she was riding in Ichigo's lap, screaming excitedly: "Kurosaki-kun!!!" He shrugged in disgust.

Rukia had come to him because she had known that she could persuade him to keep quiet about the thing, despite she had known his nature, the rage the news would wake up inside his being, and his determination to kill Ichigo. He couldn't disobey his best friend, so he decided to contain himself. He was constantly thinking about the pain Rukia must be going through at the moment, and her exquisite strength with which she was fighting against depression.

But, there was a problem. She was pregnant. Renji was the only one to know about it. She had asked him to keep it quiet from Ichigo and her brother. She knew that Byakuya wouldn't listen to her as Renji would. The only problem that remained is how she was going to explain to her Nii-sama why she wasn't living with Ichigo anymore.

Renji sighed, knowing that he couldn't be much of a help to his petite friend, for his relationship with Byakuya was destroyed. She knew something about that, but Renji didn't have heart to tell her the right reason. It would be too much for her, in her condition, to find out that the soul of her late sister was present again.

Just looking at her sleeping face, the innocence carved on it, was enough for Renji to feel even more depressed than he already was. Still, both of them were fighters, and he was sure that if they tried hard, they would escape this madness.

---

---

---

Renji's and Byakuya's relationship could be described as a very stable one. Rukia was still lying on the futon, thinking about it, still doubting Renji's brief explanation. "Love just disappeared. That's all." he had said. Somehow, it was hard for her to believe. She was thinking of how both of them were destined to suffer from other people's hands, especially when it came to love.

**Five years ago**

That was their first attempt at convincing Byakuya to permit them to get married. Ichigo and Rukia were heading toward Byakuya's quarters. It was some time after they had discovered that Renji and Byakuya had been together. Byakuya had frowned then, gave them condoms and told them to get lost. The situation had been comical.

That day, the two lovers stopped in their tracks because of the sight before them. They hid.

Renji was sitting on their usual spot, the porch, absentmindedly whistling a random song. His hair was undid, reaching the middle of his back; he was wearing a white bathrobe, indicating that he had just woken up and took a shower. The morning was fresh and the scent of cherry was spread all over the yard and reached into the manor as well. Renji sighed in delight.

A second later Byakuya appeared, carrying a tray with a tea set. He sat next to Renji and placed the tray on the other side, gracefully pouring tea into one of the bowl-like cups; he gave it to Renji, and then poured another one for himself. It appeared it was their morning routine every time Renji stayed at Byakuya's, Rukia mused. She liked to think that way.

"You sighed. Is everything alright?" Byakuya asked with even voice, turning to face Renji. The redhead was staring at his tea, swirling it in its bowl.

"Yes," he simply replied, sensing the strange aura around his lover. "Why?"

But instead of a reply, Byakuya placed his tea aside, leaned over Renji so that his face was in front of the redhead, who was kind of stunned. He placed a longish, tender peck on his lips, and then pulled back. They continued drinking tea.

Ichigo looked nauseated by the sight, but Rukia was amazed by the simplicity of act, proving her theory about simple, silent love the two of her dearest persons shared.

That day, Byakuya denied Ichigo. He suggested them to get engaged first, for several years before Ichigo proves compatible for the role of Rukia's husband. They got engaged five years later.

**The present**

Rukia was right. Byakuya's and Renji's love had been so perfectly hidden, silent and even. No conflicts, strictly professional relationship in the 6th division chambers, no violent or twisted sex activities anywhere. They had been consuming their love slowly, enjoying every moment of it; no passionate outbursts, but no cuddling or much tenderness either. But Renji knew that love had been there, despite the things mentioned above, despite the words unspoken.

It had been seven weeks since Rukia had started living with him; Byakuya still didn't have a clue and Ichigo never bothered to come, too much ashamed of what he had done.

Renji's life was a living hell when it came to the 13th division. Its members disapproved of his arrival; especially two third seats who had previously been doing the job of the lieutenant. The memory of late Shiba Kaien was still painful to the division. Despite Ukitake's comforting words, of how they had to carry on, of how he really needed a capable lieutenant, they still disliked Renji.

"Maybe the change of the environment would be refreshing to you" Ukitake said. "I'm going to the Academy to visit this year's freshmen, and, as my lieutenant, maybe you should join me."

Renji remembered Aizen and Ichimaru when he was a freshman. He shrugged at the thought, but accepted Ukitake's invitation. Maybe if he escaped a little, the pain would decrease with the distance…

He could still feel Byakuya's skin against his own, while moaning in his captain's arms; he could still feel Byakuya's eyes on him, cold and warm at the same time, and his rare caresses, butterfly kisses on his tattooed shoulder, incoherent whispers in his ear…Byakuya had had a custom to talk about their working schedule for the following day, but still, Renji loved those job-wise whispers, they had sounded so romantic to him, while he had still been trying to catch his breath, Byakuya's kisses and caresses calming his trembling body. They sounded like a promise of tomorrow.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning. Be ready." Ukitake said, shifting in his bed. "Excuse me, but I have to rest now, in order to go there tomorrow."

Renji nodded, bowed , and left, hoping that the distance would do wonders.

---

TBC...?


	5. Byakuya's Tender Heart?

**AN:** Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!!! You really made my day, since today, I broke up with a guy with who I have been for two years. Please be kind and make my other days, and I will do my best to make you enjoy this story!

**Unloved**

**Chapter 5: Byakuya's Tender Heart?**

That night was almost unbearably cold. Renji raised his head and looked at the dark sky. Not even a star that night. Not even the moon; just dark, threatening clouds. He sighed. Rukia was leaning against the ledge, looking somewhere absentmindedly. She had been like this for days now; it looked as if she had lost the source that fueled her with energy and optimism. Every day, it appeared as if she had lost a bit of hope that she and Renji would succeed, that they would find the way out of the darkness. But maybe he was wrong.

"I can't stand seeing you like this, surrendering." He said, standing beside her, leaning against the ledge as well. She winced.

"What?! Who says I'm giving up on anything?! I'm just thinking about my options now. I don't know what to do." She shook her head and sighed. "I wish I knew the safe way out of this."

He was wondering if she had been hurt by Ichigo's infidelity. At the moment, she was considering her options now, when she was to become a mother. He was thinking about their options as well, his role in all of that, and, inevitably, about Kuchiki Byakuya.

"I've been doing some thinking as well and I came up with the solution." He said, knowing that Rukia, impulse as she was, would immediately deny that idea. She looked at him, her eyes shiny in the darkness. They had always been like that: enormous, warm, and shiny. He loved determination in them.

"I think that you should go and talk to your brother. Tell him everything."

"That's impossible!"

"Listen, Rukia." He placed his huge, masculine hands on her shoulders. "What Byakuya cares most about isn't pride, isn't status, isn't…all that shit. I know him; I've seen him saving your life too many times, disobeying the rules. He loves you and he should give you support. He has to protect you now, when you're most vulnerable."

She was looking at him as if he had gone insane; she saw determination in his eyes; never did he tell a bad word about him in those past weeks without him. But she knew that Byakuya would never forgive her; he had always been against Ichigo's and her relationship.

"I can't do such thing, Renji." She looked at him hopelessly. "He's been saving me too many times so far, in a memory of my late sister. There is no love; I would be even worse burden for him now. I don't want him to know, to suffer, to lose respect others have for him." she lowered her head, saying in low voice. "Are you planning on abandoning me?"

"No!" he almost yelled. "I would never do such thing! It's just…we've been hiding this situation for so long, but what if he finds out? I mean, he will, eventually…I wouldn't wait that long." He pulled her into a warm embrace, and she wrapped her small hands around him. "You don't have to tell him the complete truth. Tell him that you and Ichigo always disagree, that you left him because of too many differences. Tell him that you're pregnant. You have to. And tell him that I will help you raise the kid." She looked up at him. "I'm your friend and I am ready to take all responsibilities as one uncle, even more than that!" he smiled. "So he needn't worry, his name won't be blemished. And we will manage somehow." He finished telling her about the idea. It was the most painless way. "Besides" he had to add another point of view of his, no matter she disliked it or not. "I _know_ that Ichigo will love this child more than anything. He would do everything for him…or her."

He was ready to devote his life to that child. It woke some hope inside of him, watching it grow and become strong, independent person, a good shinigami if he or she chose that call. He saw his new purpose, the grand project…he was so excited about it; he would make new opportunities for him or her, he would, he would…But still, he couldn't regain his breath completely. Something was still suffocating him; his chest extremely under pressure.

"You would do that for me, Renji?" he could sense awaken hope in her voice. He nodded, light smile gracing his lips.

"You go tomorrow, when I leave for the Academy. Promise me." She promised, again, that determination in her eyes and a clenched right fist, risen up in the air, promising him. He kissed her forehead. "Now let's go inside, it's cold."

---

---

---

All Byakuya said was:

"I see." As always. Rukia was sitting next to him, yet he never looked at her. With his eyes almost closed, he was looking before himself. "I think that you should live in this manor during your pregnancy. The best care will be provided for you."

"Nii-sama, you don't have to worry about it. You don't need to bother with such things. I just…wanted you to know, that's all."

"As your brother, I must take responsibility." He stated in an even voice. "Allow me to take care of you, Rukia."

She lowered her head. She knew it would turn out like that.

"But Nii-sama, your name…"

"Do not worry about my name."

She bit her lower lip in discomfort. She knew that he was just doing his duty. She couldn't stand him suffering so much just because of one promise to Hisana.

"At least, let me think about it" he nodded in approval.

"Take your time. But you should have in mind what is the best for the child."

Always so formal. She sighed, ready to stand up, but one thought kept bothering her. She knew she might regret it later.

"Nii-sama, I have one question to ask." It was decided.

"Yes?" he simply asked, still writing characters on the paper with such precise and beauty.

"What Renji told me about your sudden separation…I don't think he told me the truth. I want you to tell me the true reason…I just can't believe in such thing as 'disappearance of love', all of a sudden."

Byakuya didn't say a word for a good two minutes, and Rukia thought that she heard him clearing his throat, but wasn't sure.

"Sometimes, Rukia, we do things that we must. Sometimes, it is not the matter of heart. We have to disobey it."

'So he still loves Renji…?'

"But do not say a word about this conversation to Renji. Promise me that."

"Of course, Nii-sama!" she stood up and bowed, determined to keep her promise. She would never fail her brother. Despite it displeased her to hide things from her best friend, she respected and trusted Byakuya's ways. She turned to leave, but she heard the voice call her.

"Rukia." She turned around.

"Yes, Nii-sama?"

"How is he? Tell me about him."

"Well…he's so excited about the baby!" she said. "He considers himself a very happy uncle and he offered to look after us! He loves it so much, and that's one of the reasons I want to stay at his place instead of here."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yes!" she said, excitedly, but then she lowered her head.

"Then you stay with him. I will have doctors visit you and everything you need delivered to you."

"Thank you, Nii-sama!" she bowed. Then she looked at his lethargic figure, his default expression; heavy air around him; he didn't hide his reiatsu from her, and it was very restless. "Anything else you want to know about Renji?"

"Is he...happy?"

She hesitated. "Well…I don't think that the people from my division are happy about him being lieutenant, since they can't forget…Kaien-dono."

"I see."

"But please, don't do a thing about that. Renji wouldn't like if you interfere. Don't do a thing about Ichigo, either. I beseech you."

---

---

---

The Academy hadn't changed at all: male students were in blue uniforms, female in red; all of them excited because of captain Ukitake's and his visit. All of them young, enthusiastic, hungry of knowledge, anxious to learn a lot.

He thought that he could escape the dark thoughts, but he wasn't of that luck. He had first seen Byakuya at this Academy; this was where his hatred towards him had been born. He had taken his best friend, everything he had had; the only person he had belonged to, for his home had been in her heart, and had turned her into nobility. Byakuya had alienated her from him.

But seeing him saving Rukia, forgetting about his principles; he had seen more than a mere promise to Hisana. He was sure Rukia was in good hands, even now. And that was why his hatred had turned into deep respect, and later in hopeless, unrequited love. But he didn't hold grudges against Byakuya. Byakuya was seeking happiness, and if he had found it, then it was fine with Renji, even though he had been so carelessly used and disposed. He didn't hold grudges. He was just disappointed. He was disappointed in himself for his inability to fulfill Byakuya's expectations. He was failed by him; every Byakuya's actions in past were contradiction to the last three years.

The suffocating feeling never let go of him. It was going up to his throat, closing it almost completely. He had a feeling he was drowning in despair and hopelessness. When he finally thought he belonged to somebody, and that somebody belonged to him, and that their bond was unique, it all turned to be a lie. He was tired of being constantly abandoned and alone. But even the strongest warriors could be swept away by love. Love was a deadly scythe. No wonder he himself had tried to kill himself. He had wanted to belong to death.

It had been _his_ Byakuya; with whom the lovemaking hadn't been a carnal instinct, whose touches were sending so many needles throughout his body, waves of joy and warmth, excitement and eroticism, full of love and respect at the same time, full of hunger and longing, full of fulfillment, feeling of belonging. _His_ Byakuya and the only thing that they had needed to recharge their batteries-just to sit next to each other and absorb each other's presence; words had been needless; it had been silent understanding.

And he still couldn't deal with the fact that it was all gone now, with zero possibility of ever becoming the same. Sometimes love just wasn't enough. Byakuya wasn't his anymore. He started wondering if he had ever been.

But despite all his sadness, he smiled at the students.

"Ok, people. This is my zanpakuto, Zabimaru. I am the only lieutenant who achieved bankai…"

---

TBC…?


	6. Resentment

**AN:** I suffered a system failure, so I don't have Office Word yet, so this hasn't gone through the spell check. Still, I think the site will correct every error; but if that doesn't occur, please don't mind me.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter!!! Please make sure to review! :)

**Unloved**

**Chapter 6: Resentment**

Renji was content with his performance. It had been such a joy to watch the young souls look at him in awe as he had summoned his shikai, and later, bankai. Some of the students had been free enough to approach and compliment him on his Zabimaru and the degree of power. It had given him a temporary feeling of fulfillment. Still, it hadn't been enough for him to forget about it. Memories of their first encounter, of his hatred and his parting with Rukia (although they were very good and close friends again) had the effect of acid on his numb soul.

He had to think about Rukia's child. He had to concentrate on bringing him up. Still, he counted on Ichigo's support, since he knew Ichigo's temperament, and he knew that it was in his nature to protect his child. That would for certain be his priority. If only he and Rukia could make up. Renji never dared to think how he would feel if he had been cheated. Well, he had been, when he thought better. With a dead woman, no less.

On their way back, Ukitake sighed. Renji looked at him.

"What's wrong, captain? Is everything alright?" he sincerely hoped that it wasn't the beginning of one of those asthmatic attacks Ukitake always had. It wasn't his fault Ukitake wanted to go on foot all the way back.

"Uh, no, Abarai-kun." he chuckled. "It's just...I won't hesitate. It would be the best if we talk about it now."

At this, Renji felt a strange noodle forming in his throat.

"What is it about?" he asked, a bit nervous, yet he never showed it. It seemed that the captain was about to confess his feelings or something, and that was really something that was making his stomach growl in disapproval. He always thought of Ukitake as a father figure towards Rukia and him.

"Honestly, I'm a little worried about you. You see...it's really admirable how, even after ten years, your relationship with Byakuya remained a secret." Renji looked at him in utter shock, his eyes widened. He frowned.

'Even so, it's none of his business' he thought.

"I'm the only one to know, since Byakuya told me about you two. Otherwise, I would have never guessed." he sighed again, looking at the younger shinigami. "He also told me how your falling into the river hadn't been an accident. He said that no matter how much you were strong, a true warrior (especially because you had been in the 11th squad as well), the disagreements between you two during the past three years had been the result of your attempt at suicide."

"That's not true!" he blurted out in defence. "Captain Ukitake, it's nothing like that at all!" he shook his head.

"Even if I don't want to believe in it, I think he knows you best. He was your lover. He asked me to tell you something he wouldn't be able to tell you since your bonds are cut now. I found this moment the most suitable for something he required me to tell you."

Renji wanted to say that it was none of his business now; that he didn't care. It was over, anyway. But it was in his nature to be curious. Besides, who was he to disobey his captain?

"Yes, captain? I'm listening." he said that politely, bowing.

Ukitake sighed for the third time. It was obvious that he was excited.

"He said that he hadn't wanted to demote you to the third seat because he had found you incompetent for the duty of his lieutenant. He thought that it would be the best to distance you from him, because of the 'river incident'. He thought that it would be safe for both of you. I have never seen his face when in worry. That time he came, he was so pale that I thought he was seriously ill (he looked just like me!). However, you found a better solution; to isolate yourself from him completely....Byakuya demanded your application for the lieutenant in my squad to be granted."

Renji raised his eyebrows. So Byakuya was pulling the strings all along?! A sudden fury filled his chest and he was barely containing himself from a rage outburst.

"Byakuya never says much about you two. He told me about your relationship after you two separated, in order to tell you all of this. But please, Abarai-kun, don't hate him for it. His intentions were the best, I'm sure. I don't know why you two broke up. I really don't know what's going on, but don't hate him for this."

Renji continued to walk, without a word, and Ukitake was slowly following him, unable to catch up. When he realized that his captain was panitng and unable to follow, he returned to him, bowing.

"I sincerely apologize, captain!"

Ukitake waved his hand. "It's alright. But, to tell you the truth, I did that because I really thought you were good to be my lieutenant. It's hight time to let Shiba Kaien rest in peace."

"Really?" he softened a bit.

"Of course!" Ukitake smiled honestly.

"Oh" Renji sighed in something that could be barely called relief.

Another half an hour they spent in silence.

"Abarai-kun?" Renji heard his captain call his name.

'Yes?"

"Did you...really love him?" his voice seemed lethargic.

Renji was taken aback by the question. Of course he did! If he could, he would sream it out loud. But it would be embarrasing and pointless. He bowed his head.

"I still love him and I would never hold grudges against him. If he's happy without me, it's fine with me. It has to be." he said honestly. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I have never seen such devotion in my entire life." the white-haired shinigami admitted. "I admire you two."

---

---

---

About half the kilometer from the main gate, they felt a weak, unknown reiatsu. It appeared that it belonged to somebody who was injured. It was already dark, about 10pm, visibility on the minimum. Ukitake used some of his kido skills to enlighten their surroundings.

The air was heavy, Renji found himself breathless. They ran to the source of the reiatsu, discovering a seemingly lifeless body.

Both men kneeled beside the body. Reiatsu was still there, so the person must have been just unconscious. Ukitake directed the ball towards the person, illuminating a tiny, pretty face.

Renji winced at the sight. Ukitake was bewildered as well.

"...Rukia?"

"It's not her." Renji said. "It's probably Hisana's reincarnation"

"Er...What...?!" Ukitake looked at Renji in wonder.

---

---

---

Renji had asked Ukitake to take care of the girl at his place, since he didn't want Rukia to meet 'Hisana'. She may miscarry, and he certainly didn't want that to happen. He explained in brief that Byakuya wanted a family with this reincarnation. All Ukitake could do at that moment was to listen to Renji's story in shock and disbelief.

The girl was resting in one of the guest rooms.

"Probably the hollow's attack." Renji said. "I guess she was able to defend herself. She should recover by tomorrow without any problem." he looked at her with a certain amount of jealousy. Everything inside him was boliing in resentment.

"I will come tomorrow to fetch her. She is to be introduced to Kuchiki Byakuya." he said harshly, for he had secretly hoped that Byakuya would never find her. "I will introduce her to him myself."

"Abarai-kun..."

"Either way, I lost, so it is only fair." he bowed and headed to the exit.

Outside, light breeze caressed his sensitive ear. It was cold. For the second, he thought it was Byakuya. When he turned around, he found it was just his childish illusion. Some dreams will never come true.

---

TBC...?


	7. Memories Carved in the Floor

**AN:** I received relatively many reviews in such a short period of time. I thank you all for sticking to this story. It's really fun writing it!

I'm using a short break in studying to add another chapter to this. I hope you'll enjoy, and please make sure to review (thus I can know how do you like the story). Enjoy!

P.S. I still don't have a spell check, and I don't like to submit my work to any beta reader, so please, don't mind my mistakes.

**Unloved**

**Chapter 7: Memories Carved in the Floor**

How stupid it was, his desire for Byakuya to never find what he had been looking for for over three years. Renji hoped that once, when his beloved found his happiness, he would have the piece of that happiness as well. He was happy when his lover was happy. It was a simple logic, a formula for unselfish love.

It was ten in the morning the next day when he came to Ukitake to check on the reincarnation. He found her drinking tea with the captain.

The older man was sitting opposite her, with the ever present friendly smile on his face. Renji loved this good-natured man like he would love his own father. It was still odd for him, and he couldn't still comprehend some parts of their conversation from last night, and the fact that he actually knew everything about his relationship with the captain of the 6th division.

How could Byakuya ever say such thing to Renji, as:" I wanted to protect you"? Renji could understand that much, that Byakuya needed somebody else to say such a thing to him. But still, it wouldn't harm if they talked, only once, at least. Thus, he hated Ukitake for being involved in their affairs.

He bowed. The girl, who looked like Rukia in every detail, inclined her head to return the greeting.

"My name is Abarai Renji." he said, his movements full of respect, and his voice ever so polite. He had surpassed the hatred he had been feeling last night, for the girl had done nothing bad to him. "I found you, together with my captain."

She raised her short eyebrow, as if examining him. Ukitake showed him to sit.

"For that, I owe you so much, Abarai-sama." she said, her words somewhat calculated, adding a proper suffix to his name. He found she exaggerated. "My name is Asahina Fumiko" she said.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Fumiko-san." he said in a gentle voice. "Please address me by my given name. You don't need to add a suffix to it." he could already imagine her saying:' Byakuya-sama'. Why would she call him with such hight honorific as well?

She nodded in apology and they resumed drinking tea in silence.

"Fumiko-san, how do you feel today? Could you explain us what happened yesterday?" Ukitake asked.

"I'm much better, thanks. As you may presume, the Hollow attacked me, but I managed to escape."

Both men nodded in understanding. The silence went on for about ten minutes, and then Renji decided to break it. He was so anxious to deliver her to Byakuya, to see his reaction. To see whether he would be rejected or accepted. He wanted to do it personally, to introduce them. To see all of that. To feed his pain. To be able to let go and forget once and for all.

"Fumiko-san, you can repay by coming with me to a certain noble house. I want to introduce you to a certain shinigami."

She looked at Ukitake in question, saw another nodding. But Ukitake never meant that Renji would go straight to the point.

"It would be very beneficial for you, Fumiko-san. You said yourself that you didnt have anywhere to go. We found you a potential home in a noble house of Kuchiki clan."

"Really? But I'm nobody important."

"You may become, who knows?" Ukitake said. "Besides, the house is almost empty and lonely. In that house live the heir's elders, but it's as if they don't exist."

"I see" she said.

"It would be a great accomodation for you." Ukitake said. Fumiko smiled.

"In that case, who am I to object? I owe you, anyway." she said.

---

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---

Every now and then, on their way to Byakuya's mansion, Renji would look at Fumiko from the corner of his eye, noting that she looked so collected, as if she was unaware that he was practically 'selling' her to the Kuchiki clan. He pitied her for her naivety. He was afraid that, just like Hisana, she could not reciprocate Byakuya's love. He was afraid of a possible disappointment from his former captain's side; he hoped that Fumiko knew what was going on, so that they wouldn't have any misunderstandings. He sincerely hoped that she would meet Byakuya's expectations.

There was no reason for otherwise, she shared with Hisana reiatsu and looks. Memories were not needed, and the name Fumiko...He hoped that Buyakuya wouldn't mind.

They were greeted at the front gate and they immediately carried on. Renji saw confusion and a slight sign of terror in the eyes of servants, whispering carefully about Hisana's comeback. He knew that this woouldn't be kept a secret anymore. It was the matter of days before the entire Seireitei found out about it.

He encouraged Fumiko to go forward, until they met a man of extraordinary beauty, kenseikan in his longish, dark hair, face indifferent. Yet Renji knew Byakuya was taken aback by what he was looking at and what he was feeling, that familiar reiatsu.

Byakuya had felt restlesness withing his servants' souls. He had looked at his elders, and then exited to see for himself, a miracle that he had been waiting to happen for three long years. He had been surprised to feel Renji's reiatsu as well. His elders had frowned at the feeling of Renji's presence.

Renji glanced at Fumiko, who, for the first time, seemed to be bewildered.

'She must be impressed by his beauty' he thought.

He bowed.

"Kuchiki Byakuya-sama, may I present you Asahina Fumiko-san, an acquaintance of mine." Fumiko bowed as well, and Byakuya returned the greeting. When he thought better, Renji had never addressed to him that way. It had always been either 'Captain Kuchiki', or 'Captain', or, in their recent history, 'Byakuya'. Of course, he could not hope for the latter, but he hadn't expected such hight honorific from Renji. Why did he bother with that, anyway? Hisana was there.

They were sitting in the very same room that made both men recall important events in their lives: Hisana's death, Renji's and Byakuya's lovemaking, morning routines of drinking tea in silence, pointless conversations, plans for division's activities etc. Renji shrugged at the thought. He had informed Byakuya of Fumiko's whereabouts until Captain Ukitake and he had found her. Byakuya had nodded in understanding, and tactlessly asked Fumiko if she would like to stay with him (until she fould an accomodation of her own).

'He's in such a hurry to get married' Renji thought. 'Still I don't blame him if he will be happy in that marriage.'

Constantly forgetting about his heart, Renji kept being cheerful throughtout their encounter. Fumiko had gone to see her new chambers and the two of them left alone for the first time in about two months.

"I worry about Rukia" Renji said. "In her condition, I think that she needn't know about the reincarnation of her sister. Can you keep it a secret until she gives birth to your nephew?" the interaction between the two could be considered normal, since they had never been relaxed around each other. In a way, they had always been formal to one another.

"I will do my best, Renji. But I cannot promise." At this, Renji frowned. Still, it was the kind of answer he had expected to hear. "How are you?" Byakuya asked out of the blue.

Renji lowered his head. If only he could run his fingers through Byakuya's hair. But what was the point when it was one-sided love?Nothing made sense.

"I'm fine. People are getting used to me as their new lieutenant. Slowly, but still..." he said, swirling his tea in his bowl. "And the students were so excited when they saw my bankai. It made me proud of my time being in 11th squad. I learned a lot back then."

"Was it the time when you learned your bankai?"

"Yes"

"I see"

"I wanted to surpass you back then. Only now do I realize how much I was childish."

"There is nothing childish in your wants, Renji."

'Oh really? What if I want you to be mine again? Isn't it impossible; therefore childish of me to want it?' he thought.

Renji didn't say a word more. It appeared that Byakuya was struggling to relax the redhead as much as possible.

"I hope Fumiko-san met your expectations." he said in a flat, indifferent tone, still staring at his tea. Byakuya nodded, but said nothing.

'On the very same floor, so much seed spilled.' he thought. 'Yours and mine.' he took a sip of his tea. There were no gloves on his aristocratic hands. 'Kisses exchanged...'

"I'm really looking forward to the baby" Renji decided to change a subject. "You?" he broke Byakuya's train of thoughts.

"Of course." he said. "He or she will have everything he or she needs."

"People don't need only material things, Captain." Renji remarked. It appeared like a normal conversation between a captain and subordinate. "They need love" he added.

"He or she will have as much love as they need." Byakuya corrected himself.

The tension increased. Byakuya recalled of their first nights together, clumsy, sloppy lovemaking; both men hadn't been sure how to do it with a man. It had appeared so comical, in the nights of despair, when Byakuya had first felt fear of losing the redhead, to be so clumsy.

They had never talked about their time being together.

Renji nodded. "I hope so." he took a sip of his tea. 'During our first several times, there was a bit of blood on this floor. From both sides. It had been so painful, that we found the joy within the pain.' the redhead thought.

"I hope that we can stay on good terms, Renji." Byakuya said.

"Of course we can" Renji smiled. "But don't expect miracles." he stood up, leaving his bowl beside his feet. "It's time for me to go. Be good to Fumiko-san. She's a nice girl." He bowed, ready to leave.

"Renji." he turned. Byakuya was still sitting, never looking at his former lieutenant. "Thank you." The redhead just nodded and left.

---

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---

Byakuya had never expected from Renji to be the one to find Hisana's reincarnation. He appreciated him more for this extraordinary deed. To surpass anger, disappointment, bitterness...and to be fair enough to bring her to him...He treasured it so much. Renji was indeed an extraordinary person.

He caressed the wooden floor delicately, the floor that held so many memories. Pineapple-like ponytail was bouncing as its owner was heading to the exit. The ponytail Byakuya found incredibly cute. The red hair, when untied, used to fall all over its owner's face, shoulders, and back, making Renji look like a wild beast, enraged and dangerous. Exotic tattoos all over his muscular body...'Sweat on the floor and tea session with him afterwards...So many important decisions made while limbs entangled....Or his body simply beside me, him sleeping peacefully, back to back...Whatever...' the Kuchiki heir sighed.

"Byakuya-sama..." a voice said, the same one Hisana had...the same 'Byakuya-sama'...

He stood up and bowed, still in amusement. But she possessed neither memories of his late wife, nor her name. His heart ached, as they started their walk through his enormous garden. It still felt like it was Hisana, next to him, like before, and he forgot about everything, giving in. It was once in a lifetime to have your previous life back...As if nothing was there to mar it.

---

TBC...?


	8. Unbearable Pain

**AN**: **HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RENJI!!!** (Source: Wikipedia) But I had to make this chapter angsty...Please forgive me, but maybe I make this a happy end story, as a compensation...

**Warning:** Maybe OOC, I'm not sure

My dear readers, enjoy the story and make sure to** review**!

**Unloved**

**Chapter 8: Unbearable Pain**

It seemed so strange to him, that he was brooding over it so much. Any other normal guy would find comfort in someone else's embrace. Through many one night stands, liquor, and appropriate company of his friends...But no. He still had to feel that stupid pain. As if he were an overly sensitive woman.

Abarai Renji, before his time with Byakuya, had had several women. But they had usually been postitutes, for he, as a lieutenant with many responsibilities, hadn't had much time for developing any kind of a relationship that would last more than two or three days or nights. Women he had been with had no objection to this. They had found it an honor, to be by his side for such a short period of time; to be marked by one of the most beautiful and handsome lieutenants of the 13 Protection Squads.

There was some explanation for his intensive thinking and going into details way too much. This had been his longest relationship he had ever had. It had been such a drastic change from relationships that barely lasted for several days to the one that lasted for whole ten years.

He had never even paid attention to those women, never did anything progressive except for sex; and here, he had been so devoted to his lover-captain, always faithful and obedient.

It was no wonder he couldn't recover at all for about...how many months now? About two, he decided.

It had felt so unpleasant to be near Byakuya, for the first time in ten years. Fumiko had been there, to increase the tension. At the very thought that he had been so easily replaced, and that he himself had been the key factor, he felt so nauseated. His pride had been hurt. His entire beign was burning in rage, as he was trying to calm his reiatsu.

He had to think about better and brighter things now, for he had found his new purpose. Rukia's child. He kept repeating in his head. 'My nephew....or niece...' he smiled at the thought.

He was nearing his home when his eyes found something familiar sprawling on the floor. A body that was barely breathing and was half-conscious.

"Rukia?!" he ran straight towards his best friend, kneeling beside her. "What happened?! Are you alright?"

He heard just a groan coming from her vocal cords. There was blood coming from between her legs.

"Who did this to you...oh...oh..." he ran a hand through her hair, terrified, throbbing pain was spreading in his chest as his heart was pumping too much blood, beating so fast that he thought it would explode every moment. He had to be collected despite his confusion, helplessness, and unimaginable fear. "Hold on, please!" he shouted and sent a hell butterfly to the 4th Squad, demanding Captain Unohana's presence.

The team came pretty fast, Unohana coming half a second later. All he could do was to follow them and to wait. He was about to say that they should be careful while carrying her, but he knew that the 4th Squad had always been careful and treated their patients well.

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---

He found himself sitting in one of the chairs in the 4th, one shinigami checking on his blood pressure.

He mouthed something like 'what the hell', but words were lost somewhere in his center of speech. The shinigami noticed this, seeing in Renji's eyes a demand.

"Y-you..." Renji always looked so intimidating, so the shinigami couldn't help but stutter, never seeing Renji in any kind of shock before. "You suffered a great amount of shock. Your blood pressure is abnormal in this condition of yours, even for a shinigami...and you should regain your voice in no time." he made the report as shortest as he could. "We shall treat you with reiatsu that should act like a sedative."

"Rukia...what about her?" at this, the young shinigami winced.

"Captain Unohana is fighting for her life...Kuchiki Rukia-sama had entered the fourth month of pregnancy, the baby was practically alive in this period, but..."

"Is it alive? What about Rukia?!" Renji jumped from the chair. "I need to see her." But the other shinigami gathered around him.

Lieutenant Kotetsu told him to wait, and then she went to help her captain. And all he could do was wait...endlessly...

"Should we inform Captain Kuchiki?" someone asked.

"No...until the surgery is over..." Renji said, putting all his might in his prayers for Rukia to remain alive, for the child to remain alive, althought the look of others told him that the fetus was dead.

Was it all that he could do, to pray? Never in his life had he felt so helpless.

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He was pacing nervously, through the corridor, before the door behind which was Rukia, still struggling for her life. Sweat was pouring down his face, his hair untied, full of knots, a mess. His uniform was in total disarray, his breathing erratic. People had never seen him in such a state before. Not that he had ever been collected; he had always been short-tempered, but they had never seen him this nervous and this worried.

He could hear whispers here and there, about he must have been the father, so that was why he was so worried. He snorted at the shinigami who dared comment on such things in this situation. He sent them a death glare and they disappeared from his sight.

He hadn't even noticed that Hanatarou was now sitting beside him, looking at him in question and worry.

"It was Ichigo's." Renji said in a tired, husky voice. How much had it passed? Four, five hours? "I should have become a proud uncle"

Hanatarou just nodded. It appeared that he was worried as well, for their mutual friend.

The light blinded him for a second, and then the figure appeared.

"Lieutenant Abarai" he could hear a calm, even voice. "Kuchiki Rukia-san is resting now. Unfortunately, we were unable to..."

"Can I...see her?" Renji interrupted.

"She is exhausted now, she needs to rest..."

"Please, Captain" Renji couldn't even look at her. The lights from another room were still blinding to his eyes. "Please let me see her for a moment before I go to the real world to inform Kurosaki Ichigo..."

She nodded in some kind of realization, before granting him only five minutes. Her face was gentle as always.

"Please inform her brother." Renji said, as he entered the room, closing the door behind.

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---

She hadn't fallen asleep yet, dark circles under her eyes.

It was rare for Renji to show her any kind of affection, but he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Can you talk?" he asked her, sitting beside her on the bed. She gave him her hand to hold it, and he accepted, running his thumb over the back of it. He was glad that, despite everything, he could still see in her eyes that same kind of blaze she had always had, a will of a fighter. He adored her stubborness.

"A bit, yes" she replied.

"What happened?"

"I...tripped..." she said, looking aside for a second. "But there was nothing which could possibly make me trip...Maybe I tripped over my legs..."

Rukia had rarely been so clumsy. Renji raised an eyebrow.

"Rest now." he said, kissing her forehead again before standing up. He saw her close her eyes. She was so tired. Her words constantly kept repeating in his mind.

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Byakuya was drinking tea with Fumiko. It was twilight and it appeared that she enjoyed. He would glance at her from time to time, making notes in his mind. 'Everything matches with Hisana...' he thought, yet it wasn't the same. He mentally shook his head, stubborn enought not to let go of his second chance. In several days, he would ask Fumiko to marry him. His wedding would be quiet and be kept in secret for some time, until Rukia gave birth.

But this twilight was so strange...it constantly reminded him of his fears. It was the same twilight like the one ten years ago, when he had let emotions totally overwhelm him, for the first time with such intensity, to his own bewilderment; holding Renji so closely as if he would disappear. All of his disdain had suddenly turned into fear, into such carnal desires he had been sure he had never felt before. Not even with Hisana, or other women he had been with, briefly and in secret.

"Byakuya-sama..." Fumiko spoke. "I'm so grateful you offered me the roof above my head until I find a place of my own. I shall never forget such a generous thing..."

His heart was warmed by those words. But he showed nothing, he just nodded, and wanted to say something kind in return, but he was interrupted by a messenger who brought a terrible news to him. His eyes widened for a second, but never did he show any kind of worry.

"When can I see her?" he asked the messenger. He replied that the next day would be appropriate, when Rukia recovered a little. Byakuya nodded and dismissed the messenger. He had been informed, as well, that Renji had found her and headed to the real world to inform Kurosaki Ichigo that once he had had a child in Rukia's womb...

"I'm so sorry..." Fumiko whispered, but when she saw Byakuya wasn't even listening to her, she retreated to her chambers. Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment, holding his breath in order to slow his heartbeats. Then he decided for a sudden night walk.

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TBC...?


	9. Orihime's Redemption

**AN:** I'm so depressed because I can't study stupid aesthetics!

I made a mistake in one of the previous chapters, about when Renji achieved his bankai (which xnightmare'sxnightmarex was so kind to point out and I'm very thankful! ^^ ). But, for this story, let it be what I said (I'm lazy to correct it).

I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing this! I couldn't study, so I decided to write another chapter, since my inspiration won't let go of me. I hope that you'll enjoy, and please make sure to **review**!!

P.S. I apologize if there is any mistake in typing or so.

**Unloved**

**Chapter 9: Orihime's Redemption**

Ever since the first rumors had started to fill the corridors of the 4th, Rukia had decided that it was in her interest to pretend that she was asleep. Thus she could gather a lot of information.

It appeared that the Kuchiki staff had become encouraged by the rumors of other shinigami's speculation about whose child she had had, so they had started talking about Byakuya's and Renji's ten years long relationship.

"No way!" she could hear someone say. And then she heard some of the staff outside, talking to some low-ranked shinigami: " Every night, they used to be so loud that the whole mansion was shaking...Now master has a new toy, who looks exactly like his late wife...that street rat from Rukongai."

Rukia didn't dare touch the place where the swelling had been a day ago. She thought that, if she refrained from touching, nothing would be for real, and she could deal with it. Perhaps it would be better to think that the child never existed...

It was not time to suffer...Not now, when she had to help Renji recover from his own wounds...He had been looking after her...always and with such care. Now she had to be there for him. No time for mourning.

She tried not to think about new revelations, considering them to be just mere rumors. Rukia was tired, so tired of all that struggling...so much that her soul felt numb, unable to recognize pain and sorrow.

---

When she woke up that afternoon, a perfect white blinded her eyes. After blinking several times, she recognized the face. It was the pleasant one, the one which would always put her at ease.

"Captain..." she spoke softly.

"How do you feel, Rukia?" he asked, dragging one chair in order to sit beside her. He was all white, like an angel, in his white haori, with his long, white hair...and the sun rays were completing the image.

"I'm better, but the baby didn't survive" she replied, all collected, trying to show as much resoect as she could towards her superior.

"You needn't be so formal" he said; his warm eyes full of sadness. "It is normal to feel grief after such a terrible accident."

She nodded, feeling a warm, masculine hand on hers. She smiled weakly. Uktake had always treated her as his own daughter.

"I know that time is inappropriate, but I heard the rumors...And I need you to tell me everything."

Who was he to forbid her to know? It was her brother who was involved, after all. And her best friend. Ukitake hesitated for several moments. Rukia could feel uneasiness in his reiatsu and she knew he was desperately trying to find proper words to tell her about...About a woman named Fumiko...About the real reason Renji had cut all the bonds with Byakuya. She knew how much he loved the man. She knew how much she loved her brother herself, and was terribly hurt and felt so betrayed when Ukitake finally spoke.

It was as if she had been cut by her own zanpakuto on the spot, thousands of lights had been dancing before her eyes before she fainted. Rukia was still very exhausted. She was unaware when her captain leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Rest, Rukia..." he said ever so softly and exited the room.

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**Real world**

Still shaken by the recent events, Renji felt a bit of dizziness in his head. He had found Ichigo at Urahara's place. He had been practicing his new attack and Ukitake had been helping him. There had been that girl...Orihime. When he had confronted her in Urahara's house, all he could do was to give her a death glare, full of despise. She looked at him apologetically.

"Just to say, that Rukia disobeyed Captain-Commander's orders and was nearly killed by Espada just to save you. She had even trained you." he had told the girl with abnormally large brests. Orihime had lowered her head.

"I know that, Renji-kun...And I'm so sorry..."

Renji could never understand this, that somebody was aware of certain facts, yet they were able to do something against those facts. Just like Orihime and Ichigo had done. He felt sick.

He had asked Ichigo's whereabouts, and Orihime brought him to the Strawberry.

"Please leave us alone. This is private." he had told her and she had retreated, nodding slightly.

Ichigo had turned slightly and Renji nodded. This had not been the time to beat him up, despite Renji's wishes to do so. He had informed him of Rukia's loss.

---

"A baby?!" Ichigo almost screamed, looking at Renji in disbelief. "Our..." he placed his hands on top of his head, then he bowed, sitting on the rock, covering his face. "No!" he shook his head. "I've gotta see her..." he looked at Renji with those determined eyes of his.

"That's why I came. She needs your support more than anything." Despite his cold composure, Ichigo saw so much hurt in Renji's eyes. But the redehad would never admit that, of course. The Strawberry knew Renji too well and knew that he was suffering a lot. But, as a warrior, he was trying not to show such emotions.

At the moment, he felt so hopeless, so left out of things, so confused.

"I'll wait for you upstairs. Gather your stuff quickly."

Ichigo nodded, feeling so empty from the inside. He was still comprehending that he used to have a child...He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Kurosaki-kun.."

"Inoue, please leave me." he said, a bit annoyed. Ever since he had slept with Orihime, he had felt so guilty. He had been seduced by her breasts. And now, the weight of the world fell on his back.

"Please, Kurosaki-kun...listen to me! I feel so guilty, that I can't live anymore! Please, please take me with you...Perhaps I can help Rukia-chan! I know I can!" she pleaded.

Ichigo looked at her better. "Inoue...that could actually work!" he smiled. That would be a good redemption, indeed. Perhaps it would be a new start for Rukia and him. Orihime could reject whatever had happened to Rukia's body, which meant that she could bring the baby back to life.

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**Seireitei**

When Rukia opened her eyes again, there he was. Kuchiki Byakuya, sitting beside her on her bed, staring through the window. When he noticed she was awake, he looked at her with his porcelain-doll face.

"You are awake" he stated.

She didn't know how to say everything that had been on her mind. There were so many words of anger, that she thought that if she opened her mouth, her face would burst.

"Nii-sama" she greeted him seriously.

"How are you feeling today?"

"How could I possibly feel? I've lost a baby." she said ironically, disrespecting her brother for the first time. After a short pause, she added. "Nii-sama, I know everything." He winced a little.

"I see." he was as composed as ever. "Anything else you need to say?"

"Yes." she nodded, frowning. It was now or never, she knew, clenching her fists as if holding courage to prevent it to escape. Her muscles spasmed to the point of pain, as she was about to say everything that had been torturing her. "You don't need to pretend that you care anymore. Your wife is alive again, in some way. And that sets you free of all the vows to protect me and take care of me." her heart was pounding so loud that even Byakuya himself could hear it. Rukia's face was as red as Renji's hair, he noticed. "And Renji...Can't you see how much he loves you?! He even found her for you!"

"How did...?"

"Captain told me. He was here to visit me..." she looked aside. It was unbearable, the thing she was about to say. "And you discarded Renji as if he was nothing. You replaced him, Nii-sama. All we ever wanted was to be loved by you. But you could never love us back the way we deserved it. Therefore...Nii-sama...I disown you."

At this, Byakuya winced once again.

"If you can't love us, if you can't accept us, then we shall both let you go. I disown you. You're no longer my brother." her eyes were shiny, but never did she let a tear fall. He looked at her in disbelief; for the first time, she saw him shaken. There was hurt in his eyes, but he quickly hid it.

"As you wish, Rukia." he told her, leaving, his posture as arrogant as ever.

As he exited, he confronted Ichigo, who passed by him without a word, into Rukia's room. There was Renji, as well, and that girl with oversized breasts.

He addressed to Renji in his usual voice. "Captain-Commander summoned us to his chambers."

The redhead nodded. Ever since they had passed the gate, other shinigami looked at him awkwardly, he could hear them whisper among themselves terrible lies about him and Byakuya. He had continued towards the 4th Squad gracefully, as if nothing had been going on. This had been his way, he had had enough dignity not to start a fight. He had felt even more left out and hated. Their society had turned against them, it appeared.

Without a word, they were walking towards Yamamoto's chambers, ignoring looks and talks that were coming from all possible directions. Never did they lower their heads.

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Only when she saw Ichigo, did she let a few tears stain her face.

"Idiot!" he had scolded her. "Why didn't you tell me?!" he grabbed her by her forearms and shook her. She only gripped his sleeves and cried into his shoulder. She had finally let herself mourn over something so precious to her.

Ichigo was holding her tightly, his eyes firmly shut. He was rocking them back and forth, in order to calm his never-to-be-his-bride. He was resting his chin on top of Rukia's head, murmuring incoherent, comforting words. When she calmed down a bit, he told her about Inoue's plan.

"We're so lucky that we're shinigami, neh?" he whispered in her ear, still holding her. "Humans...they would be drowned in despair for good...We can have our child back, Rukia...They would never be able to revive their dead children" he was sobbing in relief. "You have no idea how lost I felt..."

Without hesitation, she accepted. What else could she do? She valued a new life more than her pride. And when Orihime shyly entered the room, Rukia greeted her with a grateful smile. She had never been taught to hate. She dared to rub her belly before she let Orihime start with her spells.

This was a good day for the 4th Squad. Captain Unohana wanted to be present and congratulate Rukia. Hanatarou was pleasantly surprised, as well.

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The atmosphere in Captan Commander's chambers was heavy. Both men were waiting for him to start his talk.

Renji looked at Byakuya, who was trying to hide his reiatsu. Something was wrong, he decided. The Captain was nervous and...there was some unpleasant feeling around him...sorrow, perhaps? The redhead didn't have a clue, but it was most likely to be it, which was surprising. He wondered what had happened...

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TBC...


	10. Old Feelings

**AN:** Thank you all people, for reading this!!! As always, please make sure to **review.** Love ya all !!! P.S. I edited this chapter because of some mistakes. If I missed something, please do forgive!

**Warnings:** Fluff and OOCness (?)

**Recommendation:** While reading, please listen to Cassis by GazettE. The music is so nice and romantic, plus if you find a video, there is English translation of the lyrics (which so goes well with this story!!!).

**Unloved**

**Chapter 10: Old Feelings**

Renji focused on the Captain-Commander, who cleared his throat and started talking.

"I am sure that you know what people say about you. Do you deny it or is it true?" he asked.

Byakuya cleared his throat as well, and replied without hesitation.

"The part about my former lieutenant and me being involved romantically, that part is true. Other details the public speculates about are absolute nonsense. However, it is also true that Abarai Renji and I terminated our relationship approximately two months ago."

'Full report. So formal.' Renji thought bitterly. 'You really are a porcelain doll for only looking at from afar.'

The 'old fart', as Zaraki loved to call him, spoke. "Abarai Renji, how long did that relationship last?"

"Ten years, sir." he bowed and replied.

There was a short pause. Renji thought that his heart was about to pop out of his chest. He was trying to concentrate on something else, on how Rukia would have her child back, for instance. He would rather not think about his shame. Not that he was ashamed, far from that. There was nothing shameful in the fact that Byakuya and him once used to be together. Unless, of course, Byakuya felt different about it. Renji couldn't decide, since his former lover's eyes were closed, as always. But that strange feeling of sorrow never left his reiatsu.

"It is amuzing how nobody have ever suspected." Genryusai commented. "Worth of admiration."

"With all due respect, sir, our relationship never affected our work. There is no flaw in the things we have done regarding the squad.." Renji interfered. "There is nothing we should be ashamed of."

"Indeed." Genryusai said. "But you need to tell that to the crowd. I do not want discrimination infect Seireitei. You will inform other shinigami. I will organize a public gathering. Tell them what you told me." he said in a serious tone. He had been like that always, but always on the side of justice. In his twisted way, always, but still. "You are dismissed."

"One thing, Captain-Commander" Renji suddenly spoke. The old man turned around. Byakuya cast a look upon the redhead, in question.

"Make it quick."

"Sir...I believe that Rukia's accident was caused on purpose." Renji was talking quickly, impatiently wanting to tell everything that he had discovered the day before.

"Proceed." Captain-Commander said, now clearly interested. Byakuya winced at Renji's words, looking at him in interest as well.

"Well, you see, I always doubted Rukia tripped on her own...So I went to the place when she had tripped, and felt a strange reiatsu, something that I hadn't felt before because I had been preoccupied by saving her..and that reiatsu....it indicated that kidou was used, perhaps some kind of binding spell, as a string." he was sweating while telling his opinion. "I have strong reasons to believe it is as I said."

"Renji, are you sure?" Byakuya asked.

"Absolutely" Renji nodded energetically, looking at Byakuya, then he turned to face the Captain-Commander.

"I see." the old man said, making a short pause before he continued. "Then I decide that Kuchiki Rukia will be deported to the real world tomorrow, for her own safety. And you, Abarai Renji, will be in charge of her." the redhead nodded in agreement. He was so eager about it. "I will have Covert Ops investigate the crime scene."

"I would rather investigate on my own." Byakuya commented. "If you allow me, since this is only a family matter."

The 'old fart' rested his wise eyes on the young noble for a few moments. "As you wish then, Captain. You are dismissed now." he turned and left, leaving the former lovers alone.

Byakuya was looking ahead, in thought. He was trying to collect the pieces of the puzzle and make them fit into his own image of the situation. The piece Renji had just given him had something strange within, something crucial. And he was about to discover it.

Reni was standing beside him, scratching the back of his neck nervously, fully aware that there were only the two of them in the room. Byakuya's reiatsu was even stranger. And the strangest thing was that Byakuya didn't control his spirit force, as he usually did.

"Is something wrong, Captain?" he asked politely. After a few moments, aware that Byakuya would never answer, Renji just shrugged his shoulders and left the room.

---

The public had been listening Byakyua's words with great interest, Renji mused. It was good that his closest friends were still with him. They had to, because most of the m were homosexual themselves. Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Hisagi, for instance.

He was sitting in Matsumoto's office. Hisagi and Kira had dragged him there to drink with them 'sake of such quality that he would forget everything in no time and relax'. They had told him so many nice things.

_"We are your friends in good and bad. Don't you ever forget it, Abarai-kun." _Kira had said, tapping him on his back.

_"Yeah. Now you must take it easy on yourself."_ Hisagi had said. _"You haven't lost any dignity. You are still a good warrior and comrade."_

Matsumoto had been waiting for them in Hitsugaya's and her office and as soon as they arrived, had placed him at the table, pouring tasty sake in his bowl.

_"There has not been and never will be any flaw in our work"_ Byakuya's words echoed through his head. It had been his third bottle of Matsumoto's sake. People around him had been laughing and had been red in their faces because of alcohol._"Our private matters have nothing to do with you and I hope that your pointless talk will stop. It is disgraceful for a shinigami to act that way."_ Byakuya had said to the crowd, and they had been so quiet, taking in every word. _"I am sure that you understand my point"_ They had accepted his explanation He had been so cold while telling that. And after he had told everything that had to be told, he had disappeared. Before Renji even blinked, Byakuya had been gone.

---

---

---

Rukia was rubbing her belly, thinking about Renji's discovery and her departure. She was worried, but the mirracle she had witnessed that afternoon decreased the amount of her fear.

She had been watching as her belly had begun to swell again, to the size of a four months long pregnancy. She was excited, but never showed her happiness untli Captain Unohana examinated her and said everything was in perfect order. Ichigo had looked at her significantly. His hand had hesitantly reached for her belly asking for permission to touch it, to feel the child. She had allowed, smiling at him slightly. The Strawberry had been confused at first, overwhelmed by happiness, wonder, excitement, and relief.

Orihime had nowhere to be seen after she had helped Rukia, and the small shinigami had been grateful for that. She could deny as much as she wanted, but Orihime's presence had been so unpleasant to her, even when she had treated her.

"How does it feel, Ichigo?" she asked.

"Amazing." he replied in a barely audible voice, enamoured with his creation, determined to protect it and love it forever.

"You were right" Rukia said. "We are lucky to be shinigami and have powers..."

Ichigo was just staring at her belly. A child. 'My child', he thought, excitedly. This time, he and Renji will make sure to protect them. This time, in the real world, on his terrain, there was no force that could destroy his happiness. In his heart, Ichigo knew that Renji was happy as well. And was glad to have such a friend by his side, although he would never admit that, of course.

---

---

---

Tired of thinking what people important to him would think about him, what Zaraki would think, and considering that he was pretty much drunk, Renji was resting his forehead on top of the table, unable to lift his head. He overdid it this time. And it didn't help at all.

"C'mon, big boy! Don't be so desperate! You didn't need that stiff guy anyway!" Matsumoto swung her hips and breasts as she spoke. Renji barely lifted his head. Matsumoto sat on his lap. He would have shoved it if he had strength.

"Matsumoto, what...?"

Rangiku smiled, shifting in his lap. "It would be such a waste if you remained gay. Such a loss for girls..."she whined. "Look at Hisagi! I couldn't bring him back to being a straight guy...But you" she poked his chest. "You have a potential" she winked at him. "So, Renji..."

It had been thus since always. Hisagi had always been desperate Yumichika couldn't be entirely his, so he had been sleeping with Matsumoto as much as possible, in order to drown his sorrow. If the crowd had been even more drunk, the next day they had been clueless about who had slept with whom.

Renji, of course, had been avoiding such things, since he had been Byakuya's lover. But now...Althought he had vowed he would never be with another person, he had to admit that, in a drunken state, Matsumoto's breasts seemed to be a good offer. So what? He didn't need to involve emotionally. When he thought better, life had to continue. He had to move on, despite his pain.

Something bitter was biting the back of his throat. Something that told him that he didn't really want this. He was a guy, but he wasn't straight. Not even bisexual. Byakuya had changed him for good; marked him as his own property, in his own way.

---

---

---

Rukia's words had opened a box Byakuya hoped never would be opened. A box of his emotions, hopes, and fears, piled neatly in his heart. Her words had come like a slap on the cheek. She had disowned him. His own sister. He was disowned. He had pretended as if it hadn't affected him at all. But it had. It was just the fact that he had been taught to deny his emotions. Rukia's words had an acid effect, biting through his eardrums.

And he felt it again. And was feeling it right now. The pain in his chest. The acknowledgement that his own methods had failed again. That he was unable to express himself properly. That was the reason he had lost the two people whom he loved so devotedly. People who marked and changed his life for good. His own little family. Yes, in an odd, but cute way, they used to be a family. Like Zaraki, Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika were.

At first, it had been his duty to take care of Rukia. But with time, he had learned to love her and accept her as his own sibling. Yet she had said such a horrible thing. The last pillar of his world had crashed. Sorrow was unbearable, eating him alive, to the point he found hard to even pretend. A porcelain doll. Broken.

He had a plan. A perfect plan to prove to her that she meant so much to him, that she was so precious. He couldn't tell her how he had been worried and scared when she had lost the child. Nor could he tell how happy he felt when Orihime had helped her. Nor could he tell how much he felt lost without Renji, every day, every night, every second. They didn't know that he still didn't have a new lieutenant. Nor would he ever.

But he could tell him some things. Some small things, some things he should have mentioned, about Fumiko and a deal he had made three years ago. He should have been more cooperative. Maybe today, Renji would still be with him. He had nothing to lose now. Defeated in his own game, he was heading to the Hitsugaya's office, for somebody had told him that Renji was there.

He hoped that, after the talk, he could help him sort the things out with Rukia. And to sort the things out between themselves.

But when he opened the door, he saw Rangiku all over Renji, making out like in the cheapest porn movies he had glanced upon in disgust, when he had been once in the real world.

Although drunk and half-conscious, Hisagi and Kira looked a bit alarmed when they saw Byakuya at the door. But they were too drunk to say a word.

"I apologize for intrusion. I did not know I would interrupt something." he said coldly, turning to leave, claiming one more defeat. He knew that Renji had all the rights to find somebody else and be happy, but somehow he would always dismiss that option in his mind. His rational side was in wonder, why Byakuya felt so hurt when he saw Renji, if it was alright with him that the redhead be with another?

When he was out of the sight, he quickened his pace, feeling nausea in his stomach. Something was dangerously swirling, and his heart hurt as if it were a clenched fist. He felt the heat building in his body, something that could be described as rage, jealousy, something so unknown to him.

"Captain!" he heard a voice behind him. "Wait." Renji felt relieved when Byakuya finally stopped. When he had been aware of the situation in which Byakuya had seen him, he hated himself. He hadn't even enjoyed kissing with Rangiku. He had seen his former lover's back as he was leaving, and he had grown pale and without a second thought, he had jumped to his feet, leaving Matsumoto to scratch her aching butt.

He never wanted Byakuya to see him like that, all entangled in another's embrace. He hadn't enjoyed the kissing. He just wanted to make some point, that he was still a man. That he could, perhaps, move on. But no such luck.

Why did it feel so bad? Why did he feel so guilty?

When they finally met, Renji felt so desperate, as if something important had slipped through his hands. "Did you want to see me?"

Byakuya studied him for a moment. His face was apathetic. "It does not matter. It was nothing important anyway." he was about to leave again.

"No. Byakuya." Renji said. "Tell me what you wanted." he was shivering from some kind of a fever, anxiety spreading throughout his guts.

"Very well." Byakuya said. But why did it matter now, when Renji had Matsumoto Rangiku? "Let's go to Aizen's chambers. They are empty and nobody will disturb us." he added. The redhead nodded, following.

---

They had been standing there in complete darkness for over ten minutes, looking aroud the place that once belonged to Aizen, the traitor. The silence was suffocating.

"So...what is it?" Renji asked, anxiety turning to worse. He anticipated something to come, but he didn't know what. Something. Anything. But what was there left to say when it appeared that Byakuya had burned all the bridges behind? His face under the moonlight looked even paler, but he was nevertheless beautiful. It smelled of depression.

"Renji" the young noble started, anxious himself, to the point he never knew it existed. "You do remember my uncle and how he was seriously ill three years ago?" Renji nodded, which made his former lover continue. "He made me swear that I would get married. Back then, I thought he was about to die. But he recovered."

"I believed that it will pass him, that he would forget. But then Hisana's reiatsu appeared...And he became more persistent. He had the support of all family members. It was my duty to have a successor. That pressure, it made me think about it for years." he looked aside, unable to face his love. "I was thinking how to avoid such thing. Hisana has always been buried in the past. I always knew where my heart was and where it belonged. But nobody asked me what I wanted." for the first time in his life, he sighed.

"I have a family. But I think I am about to lose it. And I would, if Rukia hadn't pointed out some things this morning...She disowned me." Renji winced at this. "She did that because of you. And because she thinks that she has nothing to do with me anymore,since I 'have' Fumiko. Rukia made me realize some crucial things..." this wasn't working. He sighed once again. "I thought that it would be the same, Renji. But I was just fooling myself in order to make it easier...But thanks to Rukia, I know I cannot. So please, take care of her and I will prove to her that I really care about her."

Renji's guts contracted in angst. He had never seen Byakuya talk that much, in that manner, with periodical loss of air. Something heavy was pressing his chest. He couldn't see Byakuya's face entirely, nor could he say that his voice had changed. No. But his reiatsu fell upon Renji as a cold waterfall, full of tender yet strong emotions.

"Byakuya." he said weakly, approaching him.

"This is not what I want, Renji. I don't want it anymore, to behave as they taught me. I don't want people reject me, fear me, or hate me...No. I don't want the kenseikan decide for me." he said, reaching with his hand for the kenseikan in his dark, spring-scented hair." So what if he swallowed his pride, Renji thought. If this was the last moment they would spend together in such an honesty, so be it. Byakuya tossed the headpiece aside. "I've lost enough because of my pride."

"But I know that you would never forgive me my selfishness." he whispered, caressing Renji's cheek, resting his forehead against Renji's. The redhead took Byakuya's right hand, running a thumb over the back of it, in order to encourage him to speak some more. But Byakuya remained speechless. Renji knew that this was some kind of a breakdown for this man, and that this was the first and the last time to see him in such state.

The dark haired shinigami nuzzled Renji's nose, and Renji nuzzled back, over and over, until Byakuya lifted his chin a bit. That's when Renji lost his reason, capturing Byakuya's steady, yet impatient lips in series of shallow kisses. So many small kisses. This was one of the rare moment they behaved so cuddly.

"I can't." Renji pulled back.

"I understand." Byakuya replied. But he wanted more. So much...Yet he knew that he couldn't have Renji. Not after everything.

"Captain..." Renji whisperd, driven insane by Byakuya's closeness. He entangled his fingers in his superior's hair, capturing his lips in one shallow, yet long, long kiss. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't leave the place. There was much more to be explained, but Renji wasn't sure he wanted to listen. He didn't need it to hear. He knew. But despite that, he couldn't. He had his pride. And no heart whatsoever. Not anymore.

"If we look for the futon...I am sure there is some here.." Byakuya whispered.

"Yes. Let's look for it." he wasn't aware what he was saying. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to stay. Byakuya knew it. Ambivalence...

"You can leave, if you want, Renji." Byakuya said, expressionlessly.

"Don't" Renji ran two of his fingertips across Byakuya's unmoving mouth. His lips were warm and anticipating. Captain Kuchiki reached up and pressed his lips against Renji's. Such a tender, loving, yet sad, sad kiss...

---

TBC...?


	11. Is it a Promise, Byakuya?

**AN:** Yaaay! Today, I reached 100th review!!! I'm so happy! Kaoru Sayuri Kamiya was the one whose review is 100th, so I'm dedicating the 11th chapter to this author. I quote a part of the amazing 100th review: "...As for the futon, where is this stupid futon ?Want the sequel of this scene in the next chap for sure !..."

I think that the 'futon' thing is what you have all expected from the very beginning and I must say that...your wish came true!

**Enjoy** and make sure to** review**!

**Warning: LEMON!!!! You were warned! It suits the M rating.**

P.S. Please read it all and don't skip the lines. That's impolite. I know because I tended to do that and felt bad afterwards. (is this pointless babbling?)

**Unloved**

**Chapter 11: Is it a Promise, Byakuya?**

Byakuya was exactly tall as Renji (1); the reason it appeared that Renji was taller was his ponytail. So the question was, why had Byakuya had to reach _up_ in order for their lips to connect? The answer was a bit displeasing and men simply hated to admit when it came to that. It was because of the knees. Byakuya was practically melting.

When they pulled apart, they looked at each other with those dazed looks, which indicated that both men had aleready been driven by passion and lust. They were, so to say, unaware. But Renji had decided, if it happened for them to end up in this position, that there wouldn't be any passionate outbursts, since he considered both of them grown up men; he didn't want it to hurt his captain or to hurt him (depending on who would be topping, since they had tended to switch). He had decided that he would control his carnal instincts as much as possible and if Byakuya wanted him to.

"The futon..." Renji's voice half whisper. He let go of his love's hair, trying to maintain balance and somewhat orientate in the dark room. He looked at Byakuya and the noble nodded in silent understanding, providing a kidou ball in order to illuminate the room. He was following Renji, a bit nervous by all of this. What was the meaning of the thing they were about to do? Was it time to think about it? Maybe he should just give in. This was the last chance for him to seriously think about such things, since, although he hated to admit it to himself, he wasn't able to think at all with Renji so close to him.

Before him, Renji was doing some thinking as well, while searching for that precious futon. They really needed to get laid right here and right now. Otherwise, they would regret it, the redhead mused. He knew, as well, that it was impossible for them to be together again, because of all the things that had happened, and despite the good will from both sides (he hoped he was right about that), it was still quite unforgivable. At least at this point.

Secondly, what if Byakuya only wanted them to be, so called, friends with benefits, starting from this moment? (2) He had seen Rangiku many times suffering over that even today, when Ichimaru Gin would come and spend some nights with her and then secretly return to Hueco Mundo, the same way he had come. And she was deprived of him, until the time he felt need to bury his face in her breasts again. Shuuhei couldn't replace Gin, as much as Rangiku couldn't replace Yumichika. The 13th Squad lieutenant was afraid the similar could happen to him.

'I'll think about it tomorrow', he decided. He needed this, he so desperately needed to feel the noble, to inhale him and taste him, to absorb him to the very bones of his. He wanted to prove that Byakuya's speech hadn't been pointless. He wanted to redeem for the sight his former lover had seen.

After some more seeking, he found what he was looking for. He spread the futon over the floor, coughing because of the cloud of dust which lifted from the said object. It smelled bad, as well. Renji looked at his captain, who seemed even more gorgeous under the blue light of the ball.

"It is alright." he said.

"Are you sure? You'll dirty yourself..."

Byakuya unexpectedly snorted. "As if we are going to get out of this clean" he stated. "Renji, you worry too much." he placed himself on the futon, waiting for Renji to join him.

The redhead sat beside him, dazed again, nuzzling Byakuya's neck before placing a small kiss followed by a bite on his pale, sensitive neck. Byakuya leaned into it, untying Renji's hair, which fell over Renji's broad shoulders and face.

The raven haired shinigami started similar ministrations with his lips, teasing the skin on Renji's neck, gently removing long, crimson hair from the said part of body, in order to have a better access. He slightly parted his lips, capturing a bit of the tattooed skin with them, as if to tweak it, but it wasn't painful at all. He kept running his slim, aristocratic fingers through the thick crimson, over and over, pressing his lips tighter to the teased skin. As he did so, his fingers gripped more and more of Renji's hair, the feeling in his belly tightening. He swayed back and forth, and then he finally stopped, forcefully separating Renji from his neck, clashing their lips together into one deep, slow kiss. With his left hand, he peeled the clothes from Renji's right shoulder, exposing delicious flesh.

Renji, noticing this, placed his left hand on Byakuya's back, gently placing him into horizontal position, positioning himself on top of the noble. He kissed Byakuya tenderly, and the other opened his mouth, letting Renji's tongue enter; the sensation of tongue against tongue was sending signals to his, already aroused member. They kissed so slowly, so lovingly, wanting it to last as long as possible. Renji moaned out of pleasure, already breathless, making the kiss more deep and more firm, as he was trying to untie Byakuya's hakama, his haori somewhere in the room, as well as the expensive scarf, carelessly tossed.

Byakuya allowed him to do what he was doing, so much intoxicated by this moment, this person, this complete anxiety, and anticipation. In the very end, they were both naked, and both of them didn't know how, since they hadn't pulled apart not even for air, and their eyes had been closed the entire time. But it didn't matter. The warmth was there, the skin, the pressure of another body.

Renji positioned himself between Byakuya's well-shaped, strong legs, still kissing him, pleasantly surprised by the arousals that were touching each other, occasionally making a pleasant friction. They pulled apart, and the redhead started to place small kisses from Byakuya's sharp chin down his collarbones, bare chest, running his palms over flat abdomen, feeling his former captain's breathing accelerating with every touch and tickle of his long, red hair. Then he ran his palm over Byakuya's face, memorizing every curve, ran his fingers through that long, black hair which smelled of cherry; his palm returning to Byaluya's chest which was rising and falling with obvious excitement. He looked at the older shinigami, to find him lost in lust.

He made sure to show respect to every part of his superior's body, the noble's body, his beloved's body, ending it with caressing of his masculine thighs. He felt he grew very impatient and painfully aroused, looking at his...Byakuya beneath him, waiting for him, longing for him, looking at him in invitation with his indifferent, yet somewhat different look of steel. His fingers reached to his mouth in order to soak them in saliva, when a hand tightly gripped his.

"No." Byakuya barely said, and Renji obeyed, spreading his beloved's legs a bit more before positioning his member at his entrance, penetrating slowly, carefully watching Byakuya's reaction. This wasn't their first time to do it without a lubricant, but he still wanted to be careful. Byakuya winced a little, but, honestly, he didn't care much. He needed that heat inside of him this instant. He needed those strong hands on his hips. He needed his subordinate; the only person for who, aside of his adopted sister, he feared for. What was that kind of pain in comparison to the wounds gained in the battlefield? Did it matter how much it hurt, when you were there with the one you loved, and whom you had betrayed? Which would hurt more, the anus, or the heart?

Renji was thrusting slowly, partly because he didn't want to hurt the raven haired man and partly because he was trying to prolong the moment. As he was moving back and forth, he was caressing Byakuya's thighs, occasionally leaning down to steal a small kiss. He was panting, his hair sticking to his face, shoulders, and back, and Byakuya would extend arms to move it from his face. He himself lost in ectasy, was trying not to moan, warm sweat drops sliding from his face and body.

Captain Kuchiki found himself breathing heavily, gripping Renji's forearms to encourage him to go faster, to hit that spot harder, again, and again, and again...He enjoyed just looking at the redhead,to see his eyes clouded by lust and unspoken love, mixing with some strange feeling which he wasn't able to comprehend, but, judging by Renji's reiatsu, it seemed so heavy. Random images were appearing before the noble's eyes because he was in fever; he recalled their time being together and their silent understandings; he remembered how it was enough for them just to stand next to one another (3), on their missions, in private; how it had been pleasant...To look at cherry blossoms and admire them together, and drink tea together, and occasionally listen to his lieutenant's laughter and jokes he couldn't understand...

He was in fever, feeling himself go deeper into the futon. He saw Renji still going relatively slow, but he needed him to go faster, to find his release. Byakuya thought, in that moment, how it would be nice for Renji to feel at ease with him, to feel fulfilled, even this one night, to forget the sorrow he was so desperately trying to hide.

"Renji..." he said, through gritted teeth. He was at loss for air, excited to the very end, losing connection with dream and reality. "Faster.."

The redhead obeyed, holding Byakuya's hips firmer, pumping as fast as he could. Byakuya's voice was all he needed to lose total control over the situation, going to the deepest, thrusting the hardest, until he came violently inside of his Byakuya, making a grimace. He was breathing erratically, almost falling over the older man, rolling his eyes in pleasure, his body still twitching in small spasms. He inhaled sharply, to exhale more slowly, regaining consciousness. He looked at Byakuya, who was trying to recover himself, yet he still hadn't reached his orgasm.

Renji nuzzled his nose in affection, silently asking if it hurt. Byakuya caressed his cheek.

"Captain..." Renji whispered, resting just a little bit, before he positioned his entrance above Byakuya's member. The dark haired man shifted in sitting position, running his palms over Renji's smooth, sweaty back, seeing Renji was in pain.

"You..." Byakuya whispered in a husky voice, barely managing to say anything. He inhaled sharply, because Renji started to ride in his lap slowly, sending pleasurable feelings throughout his body. Renji looked up at the ceiling, tossing his head in order to remove his annoying, sticky hair from his neck, and he succeeded.

Byakuya was looking at him, a wild yet tamed beast in his lap, such raw, manly, yet refined, feminine beauty...Renji was riding and riding, moaning from time to time muffled moans, full of emotions. He was both aware and unaware, sandess overwhelming him, in a strange mixture with joy and happiness.

_He_ was there, melting into him, loving him, holding him...It felt as if he belonged to him again. And so he drove Byakuya to his own climax, feeling his shivers, could feel uneven movements under his palms, could hear discontinued breathing until the last spurt of warm seed. With the last one, Byakuya's muscles relaxed, and he fell back on the futon. Renji remained on top of him for a few moments, enjoing the feeling of the softened member inside of him. Then he stood up, looking through the window.

His thoughts became coherent again. Byakuya was looking at him from the futon, his expression apathetic as always. They both wondered what next.

"It's raining outside." Renji finally spoke. "I haven't noticed..." (4)

Byakuya looked in another direction. Renji turned towards him, still naked, his tattooes barely visible under the moon, then placed himself next to the man he loved.

"We must not fall asleep." Byakuya stated. "Somebody will find us in the morning." The possibilities for that were high.

"I know." Renji said, resting his head next to Byakuya's. There was something, something he had never told him, nor did he have to. But these stupid feelings overwhelmed him to the point he thought he was about to cry. His heart ached. "I love you." he barely said, hoping that Byakuya didn't hear him.

Byakuya closed his eyes for a second. He had never thought that the words that should make you happy, made him endlessly sad. He kissed Renji once more before getting up, collecting his things. It was over, their moment. He allowed himself to mourn over that.

"Don't go." Renji said, still spread over the futon. "Don't do this again, Byakuya." his heart was breaking.

"You should go home and rest. You need to take good care of Rukia tomorrow." he pointed out, trying to sound as cold as possible.

"Yeah. As you wish, Captain." he didn't know what he was expecting was going to follow this afterwards. Especially since he didn't want to be involved again. Why did it hurt then?

Byakuya placed his things on the floor, kneeling beside Renji, placing his lips near Renji's ear. "What would you say if I told you that I won't propose to her? Would you want to take me back? To go slow, at your pace?"

Renji didn't say a thing, perplexed. 'Lies. Mere lies.'

Byakuya sighed, lying next to Renji, wrapping his arms around him. "We should head home. After all of this...it would not be wise that anyone see us together. I barely managed to calm the crowd." he said, holding Renji more tightly. Renji turned around, to look at him.

"I guess you're right." he stood up, quickly dressing up. "As for the other thing...Captain, how can I believe in your promises?" he said that and left.

Byakuya collected his things, looking at the sky outside. It was still raining, but he could see the dawn.

"I will prove." he said to himself. Now he had to concentrate on his investigation.

---

TBC...?

(1)- I figured that out by looking at them

(2)-My personal experience. Don't ask. It still hurts. But it's over.

(3)-Look at my profile pic. It's so cute!!!

(4)-How could he, with Byakuya and...mmmm (I'm a perv LOL )


	12. Underneath the Haori

**AN:** Enjoy! This is one of the last chapters...

Feedback is much appreciated! :)

**Unloved**

**Chapter 12: Underneath the Haori**

First thing Renji had in mind after he had left Aizen's chambers was to find Rikichi. It was seven in the morning and he had some things to do before he left for the real world. While he was walking to the barracks of the 6th Division, many shinigami turned to look after him.

There were still whispers, but no one dared to say anything out loud, for it was in the nature of the shinigami to be eccentric; therefore it was somewhat alright to be bisexual, homosexual or, simply, different. But the very fact that those two had been together, and that nobody hadn't noticed that for the whole ten years, that was the thing they had been moslty talking about.

Many shinigami were openly homosexual, but still, Yamamoto had been worried and had made Byakuya and Renji say something about it to the public, just to be sure. Still, those whispers behind his back, no matter how benign, they still bothered the redhead. He felt as if he had been marked, and was mostly afraid of Byakuya's reaction. What if it was the same for the noble to be discovered? Still, the night before, Byakuya hadn't seemed embarrassed by it at all.

The morning was fresh, had just been showered with rain. It was fall, and it gave such a strange note to the surroundings. The air was somewhat cold and humid, and it had a scent of wet, rotten leaves. It had a scent of sorrow and worry.

Renji felt so sleepy, and the bad weather was making it even worse. Someting clenched in his heart, like a fist made of iron, so heavy. And his stomach felt similar. On his way to find Rikichi, he was thinking about his night of passion with Byakuya.

Why had they done it? He could say that he had been drunk, but it would be a lie. When he had run after Byakuya, the fresh air had hit him in the head, making him somewhat sober. So why? Why had they slept togther?

It had just been longing and nothing more. Just the way his body and heart had felt, and had 'shook hands in agreement'....That's why. Because it had seemed so right and none of them had thought about the future.

He had discovered last night another fact that left him shocked, and made him sad instead of making him happy. Byakuya loved him. He had been forced to go against their relationship. He had never felt the same with Fumiko as he had felt with Hisana. He never _wanted to._

Renji knew that Byakuya had no reason to lie, for if he wanted to bring Rukia back, he would have to do it on his own. Renji was not the one to help him, and was determined when it came to that. If Byakuya didn't love him, he would never come to him, would never even talk to him, for he was a noble, and was good-looking, and could always find someone of his caliber. Byakuya was too proud to let himself put his guard down for 'a mere fuck'. Renji knew that. He knew, as well, that when you make love to the dark haired shinigami, you can always feel his true feelings, through his touches, kisses, eye contact...

The redhead knew him too well. He knew Byakuya had his own reasons, and that Renji just didn't fit in his plans. And that had nothing to do with his former lover's true emotions. Renji never held grudges against him. But he still had his pride and shattered pieces of heart. He couldn't decide if he should forgive or not. It depended on what Byakuya's next step was.

"What's wrong, Renji-san? You wanted to see me?" Rikichi was standing before him, waiting patiently. The little guy respected Renji so much and admired him, and Renji had a feeling that he could trust him.

"I need you to..." he started. "Don't ask why or anything. It's just...I have an assignment for you." He placed his hands on the shoulders of the smaller, pushing him aside, in one corner. He leaned down to the level of Rikichi's ear. The younger was taken aback, anticipating. "I need you to follow Captain Kuchiki for me. Got it? Whatever happens, Rikichi..." he finally said, whispering. "Send a hell butterfly through the nearest Senkei gate to me."

The smaller didn't like how it sounded.

"Renji-san, " he whispered back. "What for? What's wrong?"

Renji didn't have time to explain. He stepped back, releasing his shoulders.

"Just do as I say, get it? And don't say a word to anyone. I believe in you." with those words, he left.

---

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---

Ichigo and Rukia were waiting for Renji on Sokyoku hill. Despite the orange-haired guy's effort to be funny and entertain her, the tension between them never ceased. He knew that his chances of ever being with the shinigami he loved were extremely small, but he still hoped. He had loved Rukia for so many years, before admitting it to her. And then, it took them so long to get engaged. And when his life had become something he could only dream of: he had become a captain, he and Rukia had been so compatible, even the baby had been on the way. But no. He _had_ to sleep with Orihime, to let himself be driven by passions. He hated himself for that.

She had disowned Byakuya, and despite that she had their baby back, she was melancholic. The Strawberry was trying to entertain her so much, making grimaces, but no reaction from her.

'I was too harsh on Nii-sama' she thought, while looking for her redhead friend with her eyes, in the mist. He was late.

"Rukia, are you cold?" Ichigo asked. She just shook her head, absentmindedly.

'It was just that moment of happiness, when she smiled at me yesterday...Now she's her old self, sad Rukia who I had betrayed' he thought, averting his eyes from her in shame. 'It's all my fault.'

He heard the steps approaching them. Renji appeared from the mist, running. He looked so tired, Rukia noticed.

"It was about a damn time!" Ichigo shouted, but as if Renji didn't hear him. Usually, they would start to fight immediately. It was as if Renji ignored him on purpose.

"Renji, are you alright?" she asked. He nodded in affirmation.

"Are you cold?" he asked, seeing how she folded her arms.

"A little bit" she replied.

"Then here, take this" he took his kimono off and gave it to her. "There."

She smiled at him. Ichigo frowned at this.

"I asked you a second ago and you said nothing." he said.

"She doesn't want to dirty your haori, Strawberry." Renji hissed at him. "Now shall we, please?"

---

---

---

Byakuya headed to the office that morning, exhausted from the night before. His lips still pulsed from Renji's kisses, and he could still feel his touches, caresses, tickling of that beautiful, shiny crimson. He was determined to prove his love. After this, he knew it was worth it. Rukia's words had shown him the way, had shown him what he really wanted.

He was not the one to break the rules this time, he knew. He still hadn't done anything wrong. He wouldn't get engaged to Fumiko. No. This time, it was the time to be selfish. He would win Renji back. And Rukia. And then...

He closed his eyes. How come that those two managed to make him a puddle of love and sorrow? Why did he love them so much?

Renji...

At first, it had just been disdain. Pure disdain. Then, he had been intrigued by the redhead's determination to oppose him, to save his childhood friend no matter what. Later on...he had acknowledged Renji as a true fighter, as a capable lieutenant worth of his respect. But how had it come to love? How had it come to such pain?

Renji...

---

---

---

TBC............


	13. We Can Make it Together

**AN:** Enjoy! And **feedback** is _**much, much, muuuuch **_appreciated!!!!!!!!!

I apologize if I made some spelling or other mistakes...I wrote this in a hurry...

**Unloved**

**Chapter 13: We Can Make it Together**

Urahara Kisuke had been informed of Rukia's and Renji's arrival and had found a decent house for the two to live there until Rukia gave birth. The two shinigami were now in the said house, sitting on the sofa, one next to another, in silence. Ichigo had seen them to the house and had left, since Rukia had given him cold shoulder, and Renji just pointed him with his chin to go.

After she had seen Ichigo for the first time in two months, she finally broke. She was still hurt. She couldn't pretend that she could act as if nothing had happened. She had forgiven, but could not forget. All of them knew that Ichigo and her would start talking normally again, and the child would bring them close again, but only in a friendly manner. That fact was defeating to both of them and to people who cared about them. Renji was no exception. Seeing Rukia like this, finally without her mask, without that flame in her eyes, was something he could barely bear.

But there was something else bothering her, aside of her bad relations with Ichigo. And he knew what excatly that was. Only now did she have time to reflect over the things she had said to her brother. After the great amount of happiness because her child had been brought back to life, sadness had filled her lungs once more.

The redhead looked at her, indecisive what to do about her. Should he talk to her or simply let her be? But in her condition, such amout of stress and worry wasn't healthy at all. In fact, it could be lethal. So he started to think about the right words with which he could start the conversation.

"Rukia..." he fidgeted. She looked at him in question. He was confused at first, finding it more difficult than he had hoped it would be. "You see...I mean, those words you said to Byakuya...You know that he would never accept such thing? You know that he wouldn't take that into consideration at all?"

Her eyes widened at his question, but she played along. "How do you know about that?! Were you eavesdropping?"

"Well...no, that's not it..." he had cornered himself, he realized. Now he had to confess what had happened...he wasn't really the type who could lie.

"Then what is it?" she was swallowing him with her large eyes. Then she smiled. "When I think better...I've seen you smirk quite often this day..." and then she yawned in realization. When she had seen him barely standing this morning, looking so tired..."Ow...ow!" now she couldn't hide the grin.

"Oh well..." Renji blushed in embarassement; unbelieveable, but the great warrior always blushed when embarrassed. "It's nothing like that..."

"Oh yeah?" she smiled, glad that the nightmare had ended for at least one of them. "There's no purpose in hiding, you know. Tell me...Did you two make up?"

It reminded him of his unresolved situation with the Kuchiki heir. Something stung him in his chest. "Actually, no. The truth is that we...spent the night together...and did some talking, but I dunno if I can go through those things again...to be left out of things instead of him confessing to me his problems, so that we could try to solve them together..." he bit his tongue. He was not the one to be interrogated. Not now, when Rukia was the one to be listened to.

But it seemed that it entertained her. At least, she could forget about her encounter with Ichigo for a moment. "Wait a minute...problems?"

Renji hesitated for a few moments, not wanting to bother her with his own problems, but she was persistent. He was looking somewhere down while talking.

"I think that the original idea was for me to persuade you to change your mind...But he knows better than that, you know. He knows that I would tell him that I couldn't help him..." he really didn't want to share his revelations with her. He was too afraid of his own words. "Actually, your words were something kinda like a sobery moment to him. I thought that he had finally been able to set his priorities...But I was wrong." at this, she winced. "He.." Renji continued. "He has never changed his priorities...never, since he first saved you. It was us, Rukia. We are his priority. We've always been...Believe it or not, but..." He told her about how Byakuya had been forced into all of that and that cutting the ties with Renji were only in order to protect him.

Rukia was looking at him, gaping. Renji was wondering whether to continue or not. But her eyes were encouraging. He could feel burning in his cheeks. He could always figure everything out only by looking at the noble, could always understand his reasons. Even when he couldn't understand Byakuya's change of heart three years ago, he had at least tried to understand.. And what he had heard last night...it helped him understand completely all Byakuya's reasons. Finally.

"He was trying to avoid such a thing, but couldn't. And then that reiatsu...That's why he had been cold to me...because he was in deep thought how to save our relationship...but couldn't. He failed...And my falling into the river...I only helped him with separation..." Rukia remembered what Byakuya had told her several months earlier, about how sometimes, people had to disobey their hearts. "I broke up and that was the golden opportunity to cut all the ties...even changing the division...I helped him in his intention to protect me. From that, I can only guess, but I think I realize who stands behind all of this. Of course, it is too obvious! And your accident, too. Everything fits perfectly!" he was in trance now. "I think that he realized that, as well...That's why I told Rikichi to follow him. This is something we can defeat only if we do it together."

"Rukia...It's the elders." he took her hands. "It only has sense." But yet he had to figure out Fumiko's role in all of that. He had to try and find the connection...

'If only he had told me the first time his uncle made him promise, we could have stopped this madness much, much earler...without pain. But he always thinks he can do everything on his own...' he thought. Rukia just stared at him, half shocked, half not surprised at all.

It was clear as day right now. Yes. Finally. He could understand. "You see, when I broke up with Byakuya..." he was talking more to himself than to the woman next to him." He told me that his _elders_ wanted to make sure the Kuchiki clan would have the next heir. Of course, they were worried that Byakuya would never have children because he was with me...So it was _them_ who wanted the child, not Byakuya...But I was too much angry and hurt to actually _listen_ to him. He didn't confess directly, but...That's why, when I was out of their way, the next target was you, Rukia...To make sure that _your_ child won't be the next heir..." he looked at her. "Everything fits perfectly when I say it out loud."

"Renji...that..." she was at loss for words.

"He's realized it by now!" Renji stood up. He looked at Rukia and saw she was worried. "I need to go there and help him before anything bad happens...Now that I know, I don't need to put Rikichi in danger." he said. "And please, Rukia..."he took her hands..."Take care..." he took her in his arms, carrying her.

"Renji!"

"I will take you to Urahara's so you wouldn't be alone...Please don't worry! You know my Captain...We're an awesome team, aren't we?" he winked at her, and she could see that old shine in his eyes, full of love for her brother.

"Yes...I know" she said, burying her face in his chest. 'I believe in you...'

---

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---

Rikichi was so proud that he could help his idol, although he had an ominous feeling. He decided that he should trust Renji and be devoted to this task to the fullest. So he followed Captain Kuchiki. That man was currently talking a walk through the garden, as usual.

How Rikichi had managed to enter the estate, he himself wasn't sure. But it was good...'It _was_ good..' he thought. 'Shit! I lost him!' he gulped.

"Why are you here?" he could hear a deep, flat, threatening voice behind his back. He slowly turned around. Was he so much bad at following? No, he wouldn't say so...he had even hidden his reiatsu...But Kuchiki Byakuya was much more superior. It had to be it.

"Er..."

"I will not repeat myself twice." Byakuya said. Rikichi gulped. His following hadn't lasted long, he mused. This was a child's game to Byakuya.

"I...wanted to ask you something..." he fidgeted. He wouldn't betray his idol...no...no..But Byakuya pointed his zanpakuto at him...And he was merciless to his...enemies.

"Ok! Renji-san sent me!" he said, finding it the best if he simply admitted. "He was...h-he was worried for some reason and ordered me to follow you!" This was really too easy and Rikichi was embarrassed. 'I apologize, Renji-san, for being this weak...'

Byakuya's eyes widened for a moment. "Leave."

"B-b-but..."

"Leave. Now. This has nothing to do with you."

"Please, Captain Kuchiki, sir!" but he could see that Byakuya could easily kill him if he protested once more."Please send a hell butterfly to him if something turns wrong...that's what he ordered _me_ t-to do..." he said that, and left the estate, using his, still not trained well shunpo.

Byakuya's grey eyes narrowed. 'He worries for me...' he thought. 'So he must know by now that I figured it out...' he closed his eyes. 'But of course I won't send him a hell butterfly...Why putting _him _in danger...this is solely my fault...and _theirs_' he turned into another direction, his haori swinging behind him.

---

TBC...?


	14. Takara

**AN:** Well, I think it's high time I continued this story. I hope you'll enjoy it and please make sure to review. Without people to read this, I find my writing very pointless.

Maybe OOC...dunno...

Sorry for the errors.

**Unloved**

**Chapter 14: Takara**

The interior of Ukitake's house was the same as the other captains', the style of feudal Japan. It had several large rooms, and in one of them, at the moment, were two former lovers. Ukitake had left them in private, retreating to his own chambers. He still didn't feel well.

The room was all in the color of caramel, due to the light of two or three candles that nearly burnt out. It was three in the morning, no stars in the sky, no other celestial bodies either. The soft breeze was making the branches of the trees in Ukitake's garden move like soothing arms. It was peaceful.

They were drinking tea, in such an unusual hour. Renji took another sip of his drink, facing Byakuya. The noble's face was calm as always, but Renji couldn't help but notice a fragment of worry that Byakuya left lingering around him. He couldn't help as well a small smile, thinking of Ukitake's house as their neutral territory.

"I think I told you several times this evening to go back and leave this to me." Byakuya said through gritted teeth.

"No, Captain. This concerns me, as well, and I want to fight them because they harmed Rukia!"

"This is only between me and my family."

Renji rolled his eyes. Like always. Byakuya would always think that he could handle things on his own.

"This is exactly why we broke up in a first place." Renji left his cup aside, standing up. There was something burning his eyes, but were those the tears or something else, he couldn't tell. He didn't want to think about it. "Leaving me out of things, always. That's how you respect me and acknowledge me."

Byakuya winced at this. Hadn't he acknowledged him as his lieutenant, as his hard working subordinate, after their first fight? Hadn't he acknowledged him as his lover when he had showed he feared for his life? Wasn't it enough? He wanted to protect Renji. Was that such a bad thing?

"I thought I heard you right that night, Captain. Didn't you say that Rukia and I were the only family you acknowledged?" well, not with the same words, but Renji took it out of the context. Why Byakuya always had to be so stubborn? "If you want to protect me, then better leave me by your side." Renji was right. Hadn't the redhead shown him million times his strenght, his excellent swordsmanship, bravery? Wasn't he worthy of being his lieutenant? Hell, with bankai, he could even be captain. Yet it was normal, as well, Byakuya's worry for his beloved, although unnecessary.

Byakuya waited for Renji to turn towards him and look at him. But the redhead just stood there, looking at the garden, which seemed to be swallowed by darkness. The noble cleared his throat.

"Yes, I said that. And I still think the same way." This time, Renji looked at him. Byakuya was looking somewhere else, struggling with his pride.

"Then let me engage in the battle." he requested, his voice calm, barely audible. He lowered his eyes. "WIll you?" The dark haired man bit his lips from the inside, as if deeply in thought. It was obvious that this caused a major discomfort for him.

"Alright, Renji." he said in the end, standing up. "If that is what you desire so much. But do not expect me to defend you, or save you." Renji nodded.

"Of course, Kuchiki Byakuya." he said ironically, nodding. "I'd better go now." he made a few steps, but could hear something like 'tsk' coming from behind. He turned around, only to see Byakuya standing in the middle of the room, looking somewhere aside..._hesitating_ to say something. The redhead smirked. But he didn't want to help the dark haired man. He didn't want to encourage him to say what he wanted to say. He left him be, get over that barrier named pride.

"Ukitake left two futons. He wants us to be his guests this night." Byakuya managed to speak. His entire skin was burning, his internal organs, as well, but his body was cold to the touch. He thought he was blushing in embarrassement, but, actually, he was very pale. He stood there, feeling as if he was standing under the waterfall of shame, and the said unwanted feeling was pouring down his head, his neck, face, shoulders...He was standing there, implicitly begging Renji to be as close to him as possible.

The redhead could understand that Byakuya was concerned for him, but it offended him that the noble was treating him like a child. He approached his former lover, hoping that he would get some warmth, a part of Byakuya's promise. "Sharing your problems with others and letting them help doesn't make you weak, you know." he stated, placing his hand on the noble's shoulder.

Byakuya looked at him, looking for some kind of approval. He moved closer, tilting his head upward to capture the lieutenant's lips in a short kiss. His kiss carried a message of love, of longing, of his desire to be together again. At the moment, Byakuya felt so helpless and lost.

Renji kissed back. He was afraid that, even if the things went well, something would be in their way again. Byakuya's stubborness, something else...He wasn't sure if he could go through all of that again. Byakuya hated changes, after all. The redhead licked Byakuya's nose, then with the whole surface of his tongue he crossed the entire right eye of the noble, he licked over the eyebrow, up until his pale forehead. There was something petty in the thing he had just done, something like initiation into the clan of kittens. His gestures were very affectionate.

Byakuya opened his left eye, the right one sticky from saliva. It felt cold against his skin. He did the same thing to Renji, slowly licking the sides of his neck, then he ran the tip of his tongue across the Adam's apple, all the way to his chin. Renji's eyes were closed. He didn't move, absorbing the products of Byakuya's love ministrations with such an ecstasy. His breathing was still calm. The room was dark now.

The noble proceeded, now with the entire surface of his refined, wet tongue. He licked one of Renji's cheeks, then paused so that they could share a short kiss, then he moved and licked another cheek, then his eyes, his entire nose, his eyebrows. He repeated his ministrations, more eagerly now.

Byakuya allowed himself to smile, taking into the account that it was dark enough, thus safe enough for him to smile. He smiled widely, wrapping his arms around his former lieutenant, untying his long hair. He loved it. Never in his life had he been this playful with his partner. Renji pulled him closer, deepening their loving kiss.

After a while, they split. Renji smiled at his former leader, removing the kenseikan. "What is, exactly, our position now, Captain?" he turned serous all of a sudden, heavy burden on his shoulders again. At this, Byakuya nuzzled his neck. He was so intoxicated and felt so sleepy, lulled by the sounds of Renji's even breathing. He looked at the redhead. Hs knees were weak again.

"If you want us to be lovers again, I am willing to try." he said formally. Knowing that Byakuya had given his best by saying so, he inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"Ok. Let's try again." he said. "But I warn you, I'm nobody's fool."

---

He woke up so suddenly, fearing that Byakuya had left him. But the noble was there, his back facing Renji. The redhed admired his bare back, broad shoulders, ink black hair spread over them, falling over his face. Renji propped himself up on the elbow, supporting his head with his strong hand, watching his beloved sleep. He shouldn't have given in so easily, he thought, but he wasn't a girl either. Men were strict, they made their decisions and they would stick to them. So he was with Byakuya again. Only the elders were in their way. Which led him to the thought of Rukia.

"Takara(1)..." Renji whispered. "That's the name Rukia chose if it's the baby girl." Byakuya shifted in his sleep. He always slept so soundly.

Renji ran his fingers through the dark hair, removing it from Byakuya's neck and ear. He ran his fingers over his pale shoulder, and then planted a kiss on it. Byakuya sighed contently in his sleep.

"I've never seen you sleeping so well." Renji whispered to himself. "You look almost like a human." he buried his face in Byakuya's hair, hugging him loosely. This was one of the rare moments when they slept like this. "But the battle will be the tough one. Those elders are true bastards."

---

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TBC...?

(1)-Takara (jap.)- treasure


	15. Byakuya's Exclamation of Love

**AN: **The next chapter will be the last. Please enjoy this one and please **review! ** I put so much effort into writing this chapter! (Sorry for the errors......as always. I don't have a spell check and I don't like to submit my works to beta readers, since I always want to publish my work as soon as I finish it).

**Warnings:** **The final encounter with the stupid elders!; **Renji might seem a bit OOC, but still, when you take his temper into the account, he may be IC as well. I'm really not sure. You decide. This _is_ written for you. :)

And yeah, **LEMON :D**

**Unloved**

**Chapter 15: Byakuya's Exclamation of Love**

A light touch on the shoulder woke Renji up. He opened his sleepy eyes slowly, seeing Byakuya fully dressed sitting beside him.

"Renji, it is time." he said softly. To be honest, Renji had thought that Byakuya would be stubborn again and trick him. He had thought that he wouldn't wake him up, wouldn't want him involved. So he was a bit taken aback now.

"Captain..." he nodded and stood up, going to the pile of neatly folded clothes. On his way, he stretched and yawned. He had slept so well, beside his lover. They had done nothing the previous night, just slept one beside another. Byakuya even let him hug him, even thought loosely, but it was something. Something like a new beginning. Renji was still wondering, though, if the outcome of the encounter with the elders was to be good, would they last long? Would they manage to avoid misunderstandings and open up to each other?

It had never been the problem for them; they mostly understood each other just by looking at each other and relying on the things they knew about one another. But Byakuya keeping quiet on such an important thing and thinking that it was none of Rebnji's business...It meant he had never been acknowledged as Byakuya's lover. It appeard so, but it was clear that Byakuya acknowledged him and always would. He just needed to learn how to be more dependent. Not much. At least a little.

The noble was observing the redhead with hidden hunger in his wise eyes, every curve of his tattooed back, every strand of the blood red hair, every little detail of another's body. What a perfect body. No moles, no freckles. But Byakuya wouldn't mind if Renji had any moles or freckles, for he would find them adorable. Especially freckles, small, cute freckles on his shoulders, for instance. Or maybe a small mole in the crook of his neck, so small, small dot, which Byakuya would be more than pleased to kiss. But the only markings on the redhead's skin were his tribal tattooes.

The raven haired man knew that he would love Renji even if he had no tattooes or anything. He admired the simplicity of the man with whom he shared the bed. Renji's stubbornness, his loyalty, his fighting skills. He loved all the virtues and sins of Abarai Renji. He didn't need a reason, although he had them and knew them by heart.

"Shall we?" asked Renji, interrupting his train of thought. He looked at the redhead, and cleared his throat.

"You will not interfere unless it is strictly necessary." he said. Who could blame him for wanting to protect his beloved, even though he knew that Renji was strong enough to defend himself. But despite the fact that this situation required Renji's involvement, it was something between the Kuchiki clan and their heir only.

"I knew there was some catch." Renji muttered, but decided to follow his lover anyway. "Alright, Captain. I understaind." he said. Byakuya nodded, his posture cold as usual.

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---

Fumiko wandered the large mansion, wondering where Byakuya could be. He hadn't spent the night at home. It was like the last time, a few days ago. Byakuya had returned with his uniform in disarray. He hadn't spent the night at home then either. She had an idea where he could be and with whom, but those were just her presumptions. Maybe it wasn't the case at all. Maybe he had just been working, as he usually did. The strangest thing that bothered her was that he hadn't proposed to her yet.

"Who are you?" she heard a deep, monotonous voice behind her back. Perplexed, she turned around.

"Byakuya-sama, I am afraid that I do not understand your question." she bowed, saying these words as politely as she could.

"I bet you do.." Renji appeared from behind the paper door. Byakuya looked at him with anger, but his look softened shortly after. Deep down, he knew that Renji wouldn't obey him. He was aware that the redhead had the right to ask questions as well. He was surprised how composed Renji was, but he could see fury in his eyes.

"Renji-san! I..I..I don't know what..." the girl stuttered.

"Really, who are you, Fumiko-san?" Renji asked. "I think I know the answer. So does my lover." he added. Behind Fumiko, he could hear many people approaching. The elders. They had sensed the presence of the two lovers and hurried to the place where Fumiko, Byakuya, and Renji were.

"What is this ruckus?" one of them asked, coming from behind Fumiko. Byakuya frowned at him and several others that appeared beside him. "What is this, Byakuya?"

"I think you all know." he said, proud as ever. "You are a disgrace for this family." he waved his hand.

"Yeah." Renji said. "You were the ones Fumiko works for, isn't it? I just don't know how does she look so much like Rukia." he was standing beside Byakuya, as an equal, as his lover, as his vital part. Byakuya wanted to tell him to not act with disrespect, but he changed his mind. In his mind, he was in deep conflict. Clash of loyalties. He still couldn't choose between Renji and his family. No matter what they had done, they were of his blood, and it was his duty to preserve it.

"Explain yourselves" Byakuya ordered, as if it was nothing of his concern, as if he were a mere judge in a trivial case. He waited patiently for them to answer, feeling Renji's approximity and the restlesness in his reiatsu. He wanted to calm his lover, to take his hand and say something soothing, but it was out of the question. He was not into such emotional things. He would feel embarrassed. Aside of being too proud, deep down, maybe, Kuchiki Byakuya was just too shy.

"It is a shame for our clan that its head is in the homosexual relationship So of course it is better if Byakuya marries at least a commoner. Better than to be with that street rat." one of the elders spoke, having a malicious, disgusted smirk on his face. "With him, our head does not have a bright future. Even though he's young and form his family much later, we decided to cut the ties between you." ironically, he still talked in third person, addressing to them with respect, like every noble. "Ten years is a long period."

The vein on Renji's forehead was pulsing really fast, and he found it hard to breathe. He was sweating and couldn't form a single word, out of the great rage he felt. 'It is none of their business!!!' a voice shouted in his head. Before them, Fumiko stood with her head lowered. She was staring at the floor.

"Who...who are you to decide that?!" the redhead finally managed to at least hiss. "If he's fine with it, as long as he is happy, I am happy to be by his side! Have you ever thought of what _he_ wanted?! If he wanted children, if ever he expresses desire to form a family and have children, I would withdraw. I would do that for him."

"Renji." Byakuya tried to order him to shut up, but it appeared that Renji didn't hear him, or didn't want to.

The elders weren't pleased by the redhead's behavior. "Hold your tongue, young man. Know your place. You are only a commoner. A rat. Nothing more than that." another elder said.

"Please don't say such things about Renji-san!" suddenly, Fumiko turned her back to the couple, to face her superiors. "Renji-san is a hard working man and has proven nothing but his loyalty to Thirteen Protection Squads, his superiors, his friends. He even accepted me! So please do not say such things about him!" she sobbed. "Can't you see how loyal he is to Byakuya-sama..."

At this, Byakuya winced. 'Byakuya-sama...' So official, so fake, so lame. He examined Renji's reiatsu, wanted it to spread and caress him.

"..He sacrifices, he serves him, even though he is not his lieutenant anymore! How can you forget those things, that are so obvious, and judge him?!" she was trembliing. She turned towards the two lovers, with tear in her eyes.

"You are not allowed to speak!" the elder shouted. "Know your place!" she fell to her knees, staring at the floor again.

"I apologize..." he whispered.

Renji looked at her with disgust, and pitied her in that moment. But still, he could find some sympathy for her as well.

"So you hoped he would be all obedient and stick to the rules, right? Well, he almost did it. I can get over that, but the only thing I can't get over is that you went that far to hurt Rukia!" he shouted. "What were you afraid of? That her child would succeed Captain Kuchiki? Is that it?!"

"What is the purpose of hiding it?" the elder retorted. "We need to get this clan into order. If Ginrei couldn't teach his grandson well, we will."

"And what is it so wrong with my grandson?" everybody could hear a calm, even voice, similar to Byakuya's, but much, much older. Kuchiki Ginrei, after Byakuya succeeded him, had gone to live ascetic life far from Seireitei. Now he was back. But he wasn't alone. Behind him was Captain-Commander himself, and behind him, Rikichi.

When the young shinigami had heard that Renji had come back, he thought that if he was incapable of following Byakuya, he could at least inform Genryusai of the happenings in Kuchiki clan, for he had sensed danger.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes when he saw his grandfather, but didn't say a word. He just followed him with his look of steel. Ginrei turned to the other elders.

"When Byakuya succeeded me, it was because I found him capable of doing so. As far as I can see, he is doing pretty well. His private life never interferes with his work as a shinigami and vice versa, if it is to believe the information I received. And this young man by his side, as I heard, is a capable soldier, worthy of respect. As long as it is thus, you have no right to interfere." he finished. Byakuya looked aside, a bit embarrassed. He didn't want Ginrei's support. He thought it was nothng worthy of his grandfather's concern.

"Express yourelf, Byakuya." one of the elders demanded. All the eyes were looking in his direction, waiting for him to say something. The silene fell heavily on the crowd. Renji was looking at him as well, although he was sure in his love and the words he would say....Would he? Would he say them?

The noble looked at the elders with a hateful look,then averted his gaze. After several seconds, he threw a glance at everybody present, and opened his mouth.

"Abarai Renji is my nakama." he exclaimed.

"What?!"

"I said, Abarai Renji is my nakama."

"Very well then, you leave us no option." the elder said, and even though he knew Byakuya wouldn't draw his katana, he attacked, wounding his arm. The young noble didn't even wince.

Seeing this, Renji stepped before Byakuya to protect him. "You bastards! You knew that he would never draw his katana!"

"That's enough!" Captain-Commander said.":I heard and saw enough. You." he was addressing to the elders. "Admitted that you attempted to kill Kuchiki Rukia. You are all under custody.". When he said that, People form Covert Ops appeared all around, silent like the shadow and took the elders, who were fiercely resisting.

---

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---

It had been several days since the incident. It turned out that the elders had forced Kurotsuchi Mayuri to create Hisana's clone, which was another crime. Mayuri had testifed. All of that had caused many rumors to circulate, and, of course, it was such a shame for more than half the clan to be arrested, charged, and most probably exiled for life. But Kuchiki Byakuya took it like it was nothing. Or at least it appeared so. The fact was that, the only to know what really was in his soul was Byakuya himself.

The evening was cold, but still he decided to take a walk with his grandfather. Actually, Ginrei was the one to invite him for a walk, which meant only one thing, and that was that he wanted a profound conversation with him.

"You probably think now, that it is ridiculous what you did, am I correct?" Ginrei asked. "You think it is foolish to choose love over family. You think, as well, that, since our clan has suffered such a disgrace, it is something so terrible?"They stopped and Ginrei stood before him. Byakuya didn't dare to look at him.

"But you know, Byakuya, that we are not the worst. Just look what happened to Kasumi-Ouji family. Every noble house has some dark secret, something shameful. Who does not have it? You think too much, my grandson." The cold wind lifted the leaves. "That Abarai Renji is worthy of your sacrifice. He is exquisite. As for the children, Byakuya, Rukia will probably have more than one child. I must say that I misjudged her. She is a nice girl. Both of them are good people. You should think about that." never in his life had he been so kind and relaxed with his grandson. But now, he knew that Byakuya felt lost and he, as his closest relative, was obliged to help him. After saying those things, he said that he would leave Seireitei tomorrow morning, and used shunpo to go somewhere where he could be alone.

Byakuya looked in the direction where Ginrei had left. He was right. The young heir hadn't spoken with Renji for several days, nor had he seen him. The situation had been pretty tense that day, and all he wanted was to be alone and to reflect on the things. He thought that Renji, as well, needed some time alone. But now he realized that it had been selfish of him. In these moments, what both of them need most was support and understanding. And Byakuya didn't give any of them to the redhead.

---

He found Renji in his small, well-kept garden, sitting near the small pond. Byakuya always admired the redhead's garden. Renji was throwing some pebbles into the pond, looking as if he were deeply lost in thought. Byakuya approached him, standing several meters away from him.

"Renji."

The redhead averted his look from the pebbles he had in his left hand, and looked at Byakuya.

"I thought you wouldn't come in a long time." he admitted. "I don't blame you, though."

"It is alright." Byakuya said quietly. He didn't know what to do now; if he should approach, hug him, kiss, him...He really didn't know with romance.

"I will prepare us some tea." Renji stood up, throwing the rest of the pebbles into the pond. He wasn't into talking right now. It felt awkward, unpleasant for both of them. He started to wonder if he should have listened to Byakuya. If he should have remained silent.

Byakuya followed him into the house, sitting on one cushion. After some time, Renji returned with the tray and placed it on the small table. He sat beside Byakuya, taking the small cup in his hand.

They drank tea in silence, like always, but this time, it didn't have a relaxing effect on them. The atmosphere was rather tense and Renji didn't like it. Something in his chest hurt and snapped. He spilled some of the tea over his white kimono with flower patterns.

"Are you alright?" Byakuya asked, placing his cup on the table, placing his hand on Renji's shoulder.

"For just a moment...It hurt." he pointed to his chest. "And I feel a bit dizzy. But it's nothing."

"It is possible that you are just hyperventilating." Byakuya made the diagnosis.

"This situation is pretty awkward." Renji admitted.

"I know." Byakuya replied. He released Renji's shoulder. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes." Renji said. "I apologize." Byakuya nodded. They resumed drinking tea for a few minutes, in complete silence. But this time it felt more natural. Byakuya was looking somewhere in the distance, trying to figure out what time it was. He estimated it was about midnight. But time wasn't relevant at all. He himself didn't know what was.

Renji was trying to sort his feelings out. He felt so desolate, back to the beginning. He felt that Byakuya didn't want him anymore. He was so cold, the redhead could tell, colder than he had ever been.

"Renji." Byakuya looked at him. Their faces were so close. He could feel small puffs of air Renji was exhaling, bathe his face in warmth. Renji's breath smelled on mint. He nuzzled the younger's neck, placing several small kisses down his neck. Renji shivered, taken aback by Byakuya's ministrations, but relaxed almost immediately.

The tip of Byakuya's perfect nose was tickling him a bit, but it felt so heavenly against his skin. The noble locked their lips in a shallow kiss, keeping their heads in place. It lasted for a minute; both men with closed eyes, having serene faces. They split. The red eyes clouded with emotion, so dreamy, so sad.

It pained Byakuya to see him that way. He crashed their lips in a more aggressive kiss, forcing his tongue into Renji's mouth,and the redhead massaged Byakuya's tongue with his. He was so hungry for the noble; he couldn't refrain anymore from devouring those mouth, which had said that he was their owner's nakama. Byakuya had acknowledged him in front of everybody. Byakuya had finally accepted him as his.

He pushed the older on his back, tripping over the small table together with Byakuya's tea, but neither of them cared. Saliva was poring down their cheeks as their tongues wrestled in a perverted, lusty way. They were celebrating the new beginning.

Hot, wet tongues were colliding with one another inside Byakuya's mouth. Then the noble forced his tongue into Renji's mouth were the loving wrestling continued. After a while, the battle of the tongues continued outside their mouths; they were caressing each other, while saliva was pouring down them. Their tips touched each other and then Renji separated his tongue from Byakuya's shifting down to the noble's pale neck. He carefully removed the expensive scarf and licked the whole surface of Byakuya's neck, as if he were a starved beast.

The Kuchiki heir clutched the cloth on Renji's shoulders, tilting his head so that his beloved would have the better access, his eyes wide open, shining with thousand illusions and happiness. He loved the savage way Renji used to kiss him, hold him, make the new chapter for their story.

They undressed as much as they could, and continued kissing so lovingly, untying each other's hairs, taking off the annoying socks and caressing every part of one nother's body that their hands could reach.

Byakuya wrapped his strong legs around his partner, gritting his teeth as Renji entered him. They hardly ever used lubricants, because their intercourses would always be spontaneous and they would simply forget.

While making love, both men decided it was good to have such passionate outbursts from time to time.

Renji thrust hard and deep, seeing that Byakuya liked it. He was looking up at Renji, his mouth half open. He was gasping and holding his lover so close that their lips were almost touching. Renji was both accelerating and slowing down the tempo of his thrusts, making the moment longer. Then, all of a sudden, he found himself kneeling and Byakuya was straddling his lap.

"Huh...?" the redhead looked at him in question. "No...I won't let you..."

"It is fine." Byakuya whispered, running his fingers through Renji's long hair. "I want this." he continued to move up and down, slowly, in even rhythms. Renji was running his palms over the smooth skin of Byakuya's back, driving him closer, chest pressed against chest. Byakuya wrapped his arms around Renji's neck, holding him tightly as he sped up, landing violently on Renji's cock. His hair was tickling Renji's ear and he could hear muffled gasps and soft moans of the older.

The noble's fingers gripped tightly the hair on the back of Renji's head, frowning, eyes firmly shut. The sensation was something new and intense, sending pleasure all over. The noble didn't dare look at Renji, his wild beauty, for he would come that instant, and he wanted this to last. He wanted to absorb Renji's sweat and other body fluids, to hear his voice, to hold onto him this tightly, to be what he had never been before, if only for a mere ten minutes.

His upper body was motionless, while his lower body was ramming into the redhead's pelvis. Renji's muscles tensed, as Byakuya was riding him. Every now and then he would throw back his head, his raven hair flying in all directions. It was all passion and heat, but neither of them moaned loudly.

Byakuya felt Renji's muscles tense again and the redhead threw his head back, eyes wide open, his orgasm shaking his entire body. He looked at Byakuya, who was still riding him, with the look which said that it was as if he had the entire world in his hand, that everything was possible. That was the usual thought when people had orgasms, which reminded Byakuya of the pure bliss of it, and he came as well, arching his back and holding onto Renji's shoulders tightly. He groaned just a bit, barely audible groan.

The heir was finding it hard to breathe. He was looking at his beloved, who was panting as well, bathed in sweat. They kissed several times, and then Byakuya stood up, looking at the pond. Renji stood behind him, barely managing to maintain balance. His body was still in a pleasant state of shock.

"The night is cold." Byakuya said.

"Yes, indeed." the redhead replied, wrapping his arms around the noble's chest. Byakuya placed one hand on Renji's arm, closing his eyes. Finally, he could say that he was happy. Renji rested his chin on Byakuya's broad shoulder, closing his eyes as well. He wanted to say they should get dressed or something, but neither him nor Byakuya, as he noticed, were willing to let go. It felt so nice. It was so peaceful and quiet, and it felt so good just standing like that, putting your mind at ease and just give in.

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TBC


	16. Snow

**AN:** I enjoyed my new Office Word for quite a short time for it was a trial version...I cannot install anything permanently because of the virus I can't get rid of. Anyway, it's a long story. So don't mind me if you find some errors, as usual. ^^'

This is the last chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it, and, as always, please **r&r**!!!

**Warnings:** Perhaps a bit OOC

**Unloved**

**Chapter 16: Snow**

Byakuya was sitting on the couch in Rukia's living room. It was warm and pleasant, and surprisingly quiet. His sister was stting on the cushion on the other side of the coffee table, with the faint smile on her lips.

She observed as her brother was playing with little Kurosaki Takara, a girl of three years. The time seemed to pass so quickly, she thought, as she remembered how Byakuya and Renji had gotten together again, stories of Byakuya's implicit exclamation of love, another scandal in their clan, this time with the elders, Kuchiki Ginrei...And, of course, her marriage with Ichigo shortly after.

But it wasn't what people may think. She got married because of Takara, their treasure, their beautiful and prosperous daughter. They lived in harmony, but she wasn't ready to forgive. Not yet, anyway. They did everything together except for sharing the bed. Still, it didn't bother Ichigo much, since he considered that even this was generous enough of her. He found it surprising that she even considered being on somewhat good terms with him again. If only she knew that deep down, Ichigo hoped that he would be her lover again, her husband in every aspect.

She observed as her daughter, placed in her uncle's lap, was asking him questions typical for her age, using that small vocabulary of hers. She hadn't learned to fear Byakuya, nor did Rukia want her to learn souch a thing. She hoped that Byakuya wouldn't make such an impression on Takara so that she would add _-sama _when talking to him.

She glanced at the clock, and then cleared her throat.

"Ni-sama...You didn't tell Renji that you would come to the real world, did you?" She knew that he hadn't, but she just wanted to be sure. "Are you in some kind of a fight?" She was a bit concerned. He looked at her, holding Takara's small hands in his, to prevent her from slapping him or waving before his eyes in a desperate attempts to draw his attention.

"No, we are not in any kind of fight." He simply replied. Rukia still seemed to be confused, but just nodded.

"Good, because he's just about to come for dinner."

Every several weeks, Renji would come to the real world and rent a house a few blocks away, to be close to Rukia and Takara, and startle Ichigo a bit. Ever since he had cheated on Rukia, Renji seemed to be colder to him. It hurt that they might not be best buds anymore. Renji wasn't as tolerant as his female best friend, and had taken all of it way too personal. He couldn't help it, though, for Rukia was his childhood friend, one of the rare people whose company he treasured so dearly.

"I see." Byakuya replied, endeavoring to suppress a smile. Takara reached for his dark, long hair, pulling one strand, holding it in a strong grip.

"Uncle Byakuya..." she snuggled up against his chest, making a mess of his abused strand of hair. The Kuchiki heir had to admit that it hurt a little, but he took the pain easily, for it was a sign of his niece's innocent affection.

He reached for her hand, untangling its fingers from his hair ever so gently. "Takara." he said in a serious, flat tone. Yet it seemed so gentle. "Let go." The little girl obeyed, sliding from his lap.

"Where are you going, uncle?" she asked, still not able to comprehend some facts about life and world in general, taking every Byakuya's departure as his permanent one. He herd a light sob escape her lungs, and looked at her disappointed eyes. But he didn't answer her question, just smiled a bit.

"Nii-sama?" Rukia asked, as she followed him to the hall. Gracefully, he took his long, white scarf, covering his chest, fringes hanging in the level of his knees. It was of a refined quality, an expensive piece of clothing made in Karakura. Then he put his black coat on, buttoning it up. The edges of the scarf and its fringes reaching a bit below the edge of the coat. The last item was his white winter cap, which fit him so perfectly, making him look so romantic, that Rukia's eyes shone in awe. Such a white color, a total contrast to his black hair.

"I will be back shortly." was all Byakuya said before he opened the door and stepped into the cold winter evening. Rukia was watching him disappear around the corner, smiling gently. 'He's gonna meet him halfway and surprise him' she thought. 'Now I get it.'

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The redhead was walking down the street, shivering. He had been working the entire day at one small shop nearby, a small habit of his when he was in the real world. Just to help Rukia with her funds. Today had been so crowded with customers, that he didn't even have time to eat. He was trudging down the street while amusing himself with observing his breath in the cold evening.

His muscles were sore, his mood apathetic, his stomach growling. He was looking forward to seeing Takara and eating whatever Rukia had for dinner. The very thought of a warm home with people he loved was making him warmer. Something gripped his heart tightly, reminding him that he belonged somewhere, to some people who were nice and caring.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts, that at first he didn't notice a silhouette standing a few meters before him. The silhouette exhaled a small puff of air, waiting for the redhead man with earmuffs to recognize him at last.

Renji blinked a few times, seeing that the man didn't have intention to move. But when he looked better, he knew why. The yellow light from the row of the houses in the street was casting a golden shine at the sickly white snow, and at Kuchiki Byakuya, who was waiting patiently. The golden light was mingling with the faint, white street lights, making the town a sad place, awakening the great longng for a small room, a fireplace, a big mug of hot chocolate in hands, or, simply, a company of the beloved one, to walk home together.

Renji winced at the sight, recognizing his lover. He found himself short of breath, looking at Byakuya in astonishment, for neither he expected him, nor thought that he would look so beautiful. The very thought of them walking side by side, the very thought of Byakuya's presence, made the evening more pleasant than it originally was. He inclined his head in acknowledgment, approaching his lover.

"Would you like to take a short walk?" Byakuya offered, not leaving space for Renji to ask why hadn't he been told about Byakuya's arrival. Nor did Renji think about it, frankly. The fact itself, that Byakuya was before him was enough. He nodded, and they turned and walked off in another direction, to the park.

---

They walked side by side, admiring the quiet winter atmosphere, not exchanging a word. Byakuya was thinking about what Renji would say about Hisana. The noble knew thet his lover would never dare to say anything bad about her, for he would hurt Rukia and would enrage him. Nor did the redhead dare to_ think _anything bad about her. But Byakuya knew anyway what Renji would say. He would say that Hisana was a whore who had abandoned her baby sister, who had married him because of his wealth, and never rreciprocated his feelings. He would say something that would go into his disadvantage, something like: _It would be better if you never adopted Rukia_, even though they wouldn't be together now.

When he thought better, perhaps Renji would be right about Hisana, but the noble himself would never acknowledge his late wife's true intentions. However, it was time to move on, and knowing that Renji was bothered by her altar, and that it was another thing he never dared to say, with one last bow to her, Byakuya had ordered the altar to be permanently removed. It was time to move on. It was time to do something nice for Renji, something that would strengthen their bonds.

He looked at his lover, suppressing the urge to smile, to cry out of happiness. He had never thought that the outcome would be like this; when they first met, nothing indicated that this all would take place. And despite himself, he was glad. Oh, how Renji would be surprised!

The Kuchiki heir stopped, interrupting Renji's harmonious thoughts. The redhead stopped and retreated to where Byakuya stood.

"Byakuya?" he asked in confused, gentle tone. The dark haired shinigami was looking somewhere in the distance, among the elegant, white trees. Nobody was around.

"Quite a pleasant evening" he said, still looking at something in the distance. "We should take Takara out for a bit after dinner."

"Maybe tomorrow, it's too cold tonight. She's still fragile." Renji retorted with a faint smile, scratching the back of his head. "Byakuya...are you alright? Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

Byakuya looked at him. "I am alright." he approached him and cupped his cheeks with hands, which had the woven fingerless gloves on. "I wanted to surprise you." he barely muttered, capturing Renji's lips in a short, loving kiss. Then he let go of him. Renji just stood there, bewildered. Ok. He knew Byakuya could make jokes. But to go that far and admit that he was preparing a surprise for him? 'I guess all of us have changed in a way, during these years...' he thought, smiling. He was so happy he thought he was going to explode, the sensation of Byakuya's kiss making his face go red and warm. Under the earmuffs, his ears felt hot.

"Shall we go home? Rukia must be waiting for us." Renji asked.

"Yes." Byakuya replied, and they headed back. Perhaps Ichigo had gotten home by then, and thus they would all be gathered around the table, their awkward, happy family, who was endeavoring to forgive Ichigo and accept him as its own.

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THE END


End file.
